He doesn't answer anymore, so still and silent.

So I dissolve, the tears brim out and wash away the life of me

falling on my skin as I stand there or lay here, leaving only heavy

grey

clay.

And I feel like I'm made of wet clay today.

The weight of an unmovable day when I'm stuck like an unmade statue, in an unmade bed,

All I can do is dream, all I can do is want you.

I would love to feel breath in my ear, hear the words of admiration,

To say them back, to turn my head to him, giggling again.

To be able to speak, and with a more serious look say that 'I don't know how I survive without you'

'without being able to rub against you and be reassured I'm a woman'

Feel that you desire me, every night, and you let me touch you,

Have me stroke my fingers over your chest and tummy,

knowing I will soon want to reach down

touch you where no one else is allowed to

take you in my hand, holding, exploring, playing

with your body as we lay nuzzling and sighing.

You waiting for me to move, feeling that moment

just before I get around to touching you,

privately, personally, secretly,

that anticipation, feeling your arousal will make you fill with tingles

Blood and love-heat, till you are thick in my hand and so hard.

The urge I trigger, will make your hips want to move

and your whole being want to be close to me and over me,

I want to make you feel that urge to climb on top of me,

joining us together again and again and again and again.

You know I need your loving every day,

that somehow I weaken, every hour, between a touch.

That part of my soul gets weaker between each time you say my real name.

Then when the minutes turn to hours and the hours into days,

then my resolve dries up and I crack like a statue, an ancient old dumb statue.

Dust falls from every crease and break of me,

my soul feels like it might escape my lips like fine dessert sand.

The eons between a restorative kiss

the ages between your hand smoothing over the skin of my forearm

making me flawless again.

That way when enclosed from behind in a surprise cuddle

I feel the glow of life, flood into my heart and slowly pump warmth along

as if I've had no breath till this moment... and I can sigh.

Your lips by my ear, restore the memory of words.

The touch of affection makes me inhale with relief and I can breathe again

and I draw in the very air I need from you.

I need a kiss that breathes life back into me,

that energises and creates sparks in my eyes of light

That I might see you again,

I might see the love light in another's eyes. Your eyes.

And they will be clear and wet and a tear might fall

of shear joy at being locked in twos, reflected.

my blood will pump again and my body shift from this frozen state,

to wrap softly, warmly, needfully my arms around the one who loves me

and helps me live again.

That is how a clay woman, heavy and still, unmoved and stuck,

comes back to life.

If only it were understood

how many of us there are,

so slow, we appear to have stopped,

heart-beats barely registering

till that one hour when it all falls away

and we are kissed back to life,

released to be the light hearted spirit

lifted and fluttering with giddy laughter again.

If only we were all kissed

All alive again. :)