I've had this kink for a few years, and it kind of comes and goes in intensity. Recently, it's been all I can think about. In the past, I've been very motivated and focused on academics—I'd read for hours every day. But lately, these fantasies are the only thing I want. I've never been raped for real, but my fantasies keep getting more violent and intense.

Yesterday, I was on the subway at night and there were only two other people in the train car I was in, both older men. I kept fantasizing about them raping me right there. I can't imagine being in a normal relationship—these fantasies are such a fundamental part of me, even though I've tried to suppress them. I guess I just need to accept that I'm a desperate whore 😊