1. Never ever, tell me that i'm not doing my job. This includes: "you look bored, you need something to do, you need to do some work,etc." I'm ordered to stand at the end of my lane to greet customers if i'm not ringing you up. I'm not standing there for my health or bored. It's my F-ing job!

2. Never shove items in my face. I'm part snapping turtle, you might just lose a finger the next time you shove your lipbalm in my face. In particular, the one lady that loves to shove a gallon jug of water in my face and just miss my nose by an inch. You my dear can royally shove it up your arse next time.

3. Never insult my staff. I know you may think that most of them are young and inexperienced. That's fine, they are, but don't you dare tell me that they are stupid, lazy, or that they shouldn't send kids to do an adults job. I trained every last one of my cashiers and clerks to a high standard. They know what their doing and i'll be damned if i'm gonna let some old broad stand there and badmouth my team. If you want anyone over the age of 18 here, other than me and the manager; then put on an apron and saddle up for a $7.25/hr paycheck and only get 20 hours a week. I dare you, i bloody dare you.

4. Never accuse me of being a thief or cheating you. i've been accused of this so many times by customers that i'm sick of it. I don't set the price's and it's not my fault you can't tell the difference between organic and non-organic produce. Heaven forbid you actually read the price sticker. No, i didn't Take your $20. No i'm not going to empty my pockets and apron unless ordered to do so by a Cop. My till count show's i'm not over or under, so you've obviously misplaced it after i stuck the damned thing in your hand. Gotta love it when they come back and say they found it in their other pocket. Yet they won't apologize to me for it.

5. Never try to tell me what the local ABC laws are and whine when i don't allow you to buy your booze. I keep a full copy of the state guidelines for this and i'll be more than glad to show you the laws you're asking me to break. I'm sorry your girlfriend who looks 17, but is really 23, doesn't have her ID. You're an adult, have your ID on you at all times. Don't rant at me how you've never had a problem before or how i'm the only person that follows the laws. Well guess what buster, My job and lively hood comes before your cheap bottle of wine or sickly sweet mixer . Yes i know it gets her easy, but i don't give a flying F!@#. Go ahead, threaten to beat me up. Won't be the first time or the last. In fact, you're already on camera so go ahead and swing. Might as well give me the satisfaction of not only sending you to jail for assault, but sueing you too.

I've got a good dozen or so more, but these are the 5 that make my blood boil to extreme levels. Anyway, rants over and i've got salmon on the grill. Have a good day my fellow Retail Plebs.