I wish I could fucking scream rn.. I really really hate my life.. Why can't things go right for me.. UGH..!! K.. So..

I was in different NSFW/Femdom/DDGL subreddits searching for a Sub Daddy.. I wanted to find someone who would willingly fulfill this "dynamic" with me..

Becuz I'm a Top Baby/ Domme Middle.. I wasn't just looking for a sub tho.. I was looking for a Caregiver.. a Mentor.. Someone who could take care of me and teach me life skills my parents refuse to teach me 🙄.. I was looking for someone who could take me out of this Hell Hole and give me a life where I can experience more happiness..😩

Anyways.. I ended up finding tht person.. We started chatting quite a bit and we really hit it off well.. Everything was good.. But then.. All of a sudden, one day He wouldn't respond to my msges.. and I began to panic becuz I didn't know wht happened.. I didn't understand.. I began to wrry.. I thought things were going so good btwn us.. So I was heartbroken for a couple of days piling on top of my already severe depression.. I felt terrible..

But then.. One day he finally started msging me bck and He explain to me tht he was hacked.. Don't u just hate when tht happens.. UGH..!! 😩 Moving on.. he told me he'd never leave me and he really enjoys talking to me and if there was a problem he'd tell me 1st, he wouldn't just disappear.. I was very happy tht he came bck and I was glad tht nothing went bad btwn us..

So we started bck where we left off.. Chatting and discussing things.. It went on for 2 days.. Then BOOM💥 it happened again.. This time I wasn't soo worried.. But too many started to pass and the panic in me started to rise to the surface again.. I began to check his pg every other day, only to find out tht his account got banned.. UGH..!! 😩

I hate this.. I've tried my best to look for him.. It's been 2 in a half months.. He would've msged me bck by now.. If he were to make another account I don't think he would be able to find me.. I don't think he remembers my user..😔 There was only 2 places where we communicated.. Here and Discord.. Both accounts r shut down.. I bet he's just as worried as I am..

Can someone please please please pleeeaassse help me find him..Please..🙏🏾🥺🙏🏾