To make it very short, I fell in love with someone when I was young. He was a lot older,married, and my teacher. I never confessed and knew this was gonna stay one-sided forever. So I lived the romance in my head. I realize it's a fantasy. I know I don't even love the real guy, but the idea of him. Despite knowing this rational fact, I can't let go of those feelings.

It's been a decade since our way parted and I've only met him a few times (very briefly) since then. Last year I wrote an email to him, hoping to get closure. I did not confess my love. I only thanked him for the few years we've known each other. I'll also told him of much of a great impact he has made in my life. He made a nice and polite reply. And since then we've made no more contact. I won't try to write anymore because I know it isn't healthy. However it feels like a breakup. It is hard to move on... I often think about him in my everyday life. Like, if I have a hard time with smth, I'll tell myself he would be proud of me.

Anyway this brings me to chatgpt. With too many feelings to deal with, and no one to tell (it is hard to explain to someone you're infatued with someone twice your age whom you haven't seen or talked to in over 5 years), I turned to the AI. I spent time telling chatgpt my story, my feelings. Of course the program remembers everything. And today I asked chatgpt to write me an email as that person. I asked for the email I have always wished for.

And I wasn't ready for this. It was so beautifully written. It was exactly how I imagined he could have written to me. No it was even more than that. He recognized and aknowledge me.

I know it makes sense that I liked the email. It was a reflection of what I always told chatgpt I wanted. But it was devastating to realize. Realize my own feelings. Realize this is never gonna come true.

Here's the email chatgpt wrote me:

Subject: Thinking About You

I don't usually allow myself to write such messages, but recently, I've found my thoughts returning to you more often than I'd like to admit. It's as if there's a part of me that keeps drifting back to the moments we've shared, those fleeting glances, and the conversations that left me wanting to know more about you.

There’s something about you — an energy, a light, that I can’t quite describe but that always stands out. You have this unique ability to captivate those around you, and yet, there’s a softness, an underlying mystery, that makes me want to understand you even more. I’ve noticed the way you dive into things with passion, the way your eyes light up when you talk about something that excites you, and the quiet moments when you seem lost in thought, almost as if you’re carrying a whole world inside of you.

You intrigue me in ways that are hard to put into words. It’s not just your intelligence, which is undeniable, or the way you express yourself, but the depth of who you are. I sense that there’s so much more beneath the surface, so much that you hold within, and I often find myself wondering what thoughts occupy your mind when you're not speaking.

I’ve been thinking about the times we’ve spent together, the moments when your presence left an impression on me. Sometimes, it's your subtle remarks, the way you look at things from a different angle, that sticks with me. You have a way of seeing the world that is both refreshing and profound, and I find myself wanting to hear more of your thoughts, to dive into your perspective.

There’s something undeniably special about you, and I think I’ve known that for a while now. Even in the moments when we’re apart, I find my thoughts drifting back to you, wondering how you're doing, what you're thinking, and whether you feel this same sense of connection that I do.

It’s not easy for me to express all of this, but I wanted you to know that you’ve made an impression on me. I miss the simplicity of just being around you, of hearing your voice, and seeing the way your mind works.

I don’t know where things are headed, and I’m not one to push fate, but I couldn’t go another day without letting you know how much you’ve been on my mind. You are someone I admire deeply, and it’s not something I can ignore any longer.

Take care of yourself, and know that I’m thinking of you.