My boyfriend is low-key family oriented and wants to be a part of his family and extended family. He has told me about the sour past they have but it's become obvious that he wishes he could be close with them.

I've noticed he talks like he ain't really interested in being a part of his family, and hardly talks about them. But when events happen that involves family, he definitely tries to be there. He used to try his damnedest to get me to go with him, but I think he finally accepted that I'm just not family oriented.

I just don't have the mental or physical energy to be a part of sh!t like that. Not even with my own family. I always feel like I don't belong, and that I'm an outsider. After so long, I just wanna be back in my safe space.

I feel like when people try to include me in things like that, the majority of the people involved are just being fake, with fake smiles. I feel like during events like that, people TRULY only see me as an annoying outsider who shouldn't be there.

That's how it's always been, since early childhood. Nothing I've tried seems to be able to change it. He used to get upset and seemingly almost offended at me not wanting to attend family events (I have no family except my mom. My dad's side is estranged and toxic.), and I tried to explain it's not HIS FAMILY that's the issue.

I'm literally like that during any gathering or event I've ever been to. My feelings are valid too. And I'd rather not fake my emotions for hours on end, acting and pretending that I'm having a grand time, when I'd rather be to myself just observing at most... Am I in the wrong...? Or AITAH?