My stupid FFIL and my FMIL did m*th when their oldest was 14, they have 4 children altogether, the children ended up having to live with other people for 4-5 years because of this. Before they started doing this they were poor and couldn't afford a lot of extra things for their children. Now that he has unlimited access to my kid he's trying to make up for his failures when he was a dad.

Some things he's done to create a spoiled brat in my child are:

He allows him to go to bed every night with unlimited access to an internet connected phone ( No service) because he doesn't want to hear the child cry at night because he is scared of the dark that he is made to sleep in because he shares a room with his grandparents.

He doesn't make him pick up his toys ever, and instead will pick them up himself. He never makes my son pick up any mess he creates, so when I ask him too when I am home from work and on my days off its a huge fight with him

He comes running to his aide every. single. time. 4 year old cries about anything. Toy fell on his foot crying like he broke something, a toy isn't doing what he wants it too, huge melt down that FFIL will immediately fix instead of trying to calm him down and try again

Wants junk food first in the morning, I have to put my foot down and say NO, because he hasn't eaten anything of substance. But I know when my fiance and I are at work he gets unlimited access to junk food, snacks, and candy all day without eating proper foods

Because of this, when we move into our own house I will be limiting access to my son and the newborn after he is born to undo everything that has been taught to my son. I have tried so many times to set boundaries and tell them this is how I want things done and they get ignored every time. I have even tried moving my son's bed out of their room into our room so that I can control the phone issue, but with our room being upstairs they fought me on it. I have tried just not feeding him any snacks until a certain time and only after he's eaten proper food. I have tried telling him to stop picking up after him and to stop picking up his toys for him because he needs to learn to do that himself. Nothing I say matters and I feel incredibly disrespected by the amount of times the things I have said go unheard.

For this I am almost excited to take away the unlimited access to my child(ren) and to teach them to properly pick up after himself and to eat snacks only it's snack time. To help him learn to problem solve the little things that get him so worked up even if it's an easy fix, and most importantly to get him off that damn phone. I don't want to raise an IPad kid, he does good generally during the day only using it when he eats which I have no problem with, but when it is getting in the way of him sleeping I have a huge issue with