Are you a submissive female over 19 who needs and desires a Daddy?
Maybe it's a religious upbringing; strict, abusive, or absent parents etc. Many females have daddy issues. These issues can manifest themselves in various ways, but often they lead to sexual and relationship preferences that many people might consider different at best, and abusive at worst. Naturally, the fact that you enjoy them, or think you would, and others consider them weird, makes you feel guilty, embarrassed and ashamed at your own desires, which then starts to eat away at your confidence, self esteem and self worth.
Some girls suppress these feelings but it tries to stop you from wanting the things you enjoy because of the guilt and shame you feel about them and, as anyone with strong needs and desires will tell you, This is an uphill, if not futile, battle. If you feel happy and fulfilled on your knees, with your hair firmly grasped in someone's fist and a cock hitting the back of your throat and choking you, then telling you it's wrong, and trying to help you understand why you like it, isn't going to help you much. In fact it will have your head spinning so fast that you can't wait to feel that firm grip holding you still again and giving you the clarity and simplicity you crave.
Instead of trying to prevent you from thinking or doing the things you might enjoy, that then make you feel guilty, why not simply enjoy them and just stop feeling ashamed about it? Why not attack the guilt and shame instead of the thoughts or actions? Why not teach yourself that your somewhat fucked up sexual feelings and desires are in fact perfectly ok, and that as long as no harm comes to you and you cause no harm to others, then enjoy yourself and feel good about it.
Lot's of women enjoy rough, dominant sex. The most common female fantasies involve being taken by force, and I've lost count of the number of women who've told me of their embarrassment at how wet and turned on they get at scenes of rape and sexual violence in films and on TV. Many enjoy and some crave the feeling of being controlled and owned. Of course they all think they're the only one that feels that way and so there must be something wrong with them, but they're not, and there isn't.
Maybe there are reasons why you feel that way and need it so much, but do you want to spend the rest of your life ashamed, crying yourself to sleep, wondering why you have such extreme desires and whether you can change them? Or would you prefer to simply be able to enjoy them as fully as possible, without the slightest feeling of guilt?
If you enjoy the idea of being tied up, spanked, fucked aggressively and treated like a sex toy, then so what. If you believe you'd prefer a relationship where someone else calls the shots, takes control and makes decisions for you, because it makes you feel safe, cared for, loved and protected, then big deal, it's your life.

Write and I will tell you more ,but I am white, tall, good shape, thick, cut and I last and also very oral. I do respect all limits, but hopefully you do not have many.