CLOSED

Health issues took me out for a month, but I made some big, positive life changes. Moved across the country. Having a ball in the South. Or Midwest. Or something (I’m so bad at geography, if it’s west of Philadelphia and not California or Washington, I basically call it all the Midwest).

But let’s get a little contest going cause I got my first paycheck in the new state today. So, Dad jokes! Your best ones. Hit me with them and I’ll throw out a couple $5 and under rewards. If you really kill it, we’ll see.

I’ll kick it off with my current top three to set the bar:

- I attended a friend’s funeral. His girl asked if anyone would like to say anything and I stood up. She thanked me and said, “Please, go ahead.” I gathered myself and through tears cried out, “Plethora.”

- She smiled through sobs and said, “Thanks, that means a lot.”

- What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

- I dunno, flags a big plus…

- Hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter?

• Pretty nuts…

Hit me with your best!

R00LS: - Be a dick, just not to others. And not awful jokes, this is light hearted. - I love word puns, obviously. Dirty jokes are ok, but just not derogatory stuff. This is not that kinda party. You know the difference. - Ends tomorrow at 3pm “Midwest time”. - Have some $5 items on your list. - Optional:Tag friends so they can lay down their best material. - Bring that Dad joke A heat. But limit it to 3 or less if you have a ton. And no novel stories. Quick little paragraphs is enough. Unless it’s a slayer that you just have to setup. I get that.

Good to be back!