This post is gonna be a mixed jumble of thank you's for cards I just received. I had been working on the Daily Junior Crossword Puzzle in the local paper. But I was stuck on this clue: "It's red. It smells. And you sometimes pick it in the garden." It was a four letter word. I had figured out the last three letters as O S E but the first letter just wouldn't come into my mind. So I decided to take a break from my brain numbing puzzle. What to do next? Another day of deciding "Should I go check for mail or not? Never know what danger lurks out there! May be better to just hide forever from the world in my abode!" So I finally gathered the courage to take off my bunny onesies that I had been wearing last night while in bed and I slipped into my cowboy gear. This was because I was going to ride out on the range to my mailbox at the end of the driveway. But I needed someone to protect me! So I went over to the corner of my living room to have a chat with my buddy and closest companion. He's a cactus I've had for a while. When I first got my cactus, he was a bit cantankerous since he used to stab me all the time whenever I'd try to cuddle him! But we've become the best of friends even though he still stabs me constantly whenever I try to cuddle. I says: "Hey cactus buddy! How about we ride out on the range to check for mail? With you riding sidekick of course for protection."

Finally got my cactus to come with me. Had to bribe him with the promise of a soothing bubble bath when we returned. Bath for him that is, not me, being the cowboy that I am! So got cactus into his long john underwear. And thermal shirt and trousers and a comfy parka because it's winter and cold here on the Canadian Prairies. How cold is it?, you ask. It's so cold that whenever I check the thermometer it reads "Are You Serious? I'm freezing out here!"

As soon as cactus bud and I were ready to confront the outdoors, I grabbed him in my arms and the little brute poked me repeatedly as I walked out the door and down the stairs from our second floor apartment. I could tell cactus boy wasn't enjoying the cold by the way his spikes were shivering. So this had to be a quick trip to the mailbox. Saddled my trusty steed, Herman, who lives in my garage, and placed cactus boy at the front of the saddle with me taking up the rear. My cactus prefers to see where we're headed and jabs me in the back whenever we're riding double and he's in the rear. He likes to check out the countryside for coyotes and stuff.

So, once we've mounted Herman, we galloped out to the mailbox. I dismounted (I've finally learned how to mount and dismount from Herman without the use of a ladder) grabbed the mail out of my mailbox and remounted Herman. We galloped back to my apartment and I put Herman back in the garage where I stable him.

Once inside, I undressed my cactus bud and drew his bubble bath for him. Sat down and checked to see what devilish, it's always devilish, mail had been sent to me. The first was a Christmas card from u/_Umeboshi_. A gorgeous winter scene of a fantastic house in the countryside. Everything looks perfect except the house seems a bit small for us. And cactus and me would be constantly "Keep out of the way!" and bickering and at each other's throats. So I'll have to pass on considering that home for the two of us. And there doesn't appear to be a garage or barn for Herman to live in. I'd think he'd be upset if he had to stay in that house with cactus and me. Herman is his own man and likes his own quarters. I must say I really like the sparkles on the Christmas card. Although you can't actually see them on the photo. Drats. Must have taken u/_Umeboshi_ quite a while to add all those sparkles to the card. Excellent job. Oh wait. The card company added the sparkles. Sneaky! And I love the hand stamped 'Merry Christmas' in red with gold foliage surrounding it on the upper inside of the card that u/_Umeboshi_ created. Beautiful.

This is the next card I retrieved from the mailbox. With the help of cactus boy of course. Can't let him be forgotten. Would break his little prickly heart if I didn't mention him! There is no username on the card and I suspect it was from someone who is not on reddit but another reddit user requested it for them. I can tell you, if my horse Herman saw something like what's on the front of this card, he'd be stampeding those cardinals away for loitering and then he'd munch down that wreath. And probably use the ribbon to floss afterwards. Gotta take care of the teeths. Herman's dentist would be really annoyed if Herman showed up at the dental clinic with a cavity. Again this is a really beautiful card and me and cactus boy (he's probably singing in the tub in his bubble bath right now) really appreciate this card. Or cactus boy might be yodeling because cactus boy is in cowboy country and cowboys sometimes like to yodel.

Next card again has no username on it. It's from a group home and is a thank you because I sent each resident at the personal care home a Christmas card. Really nice of them to show their appreciation.

Next is two cards from u/draconic_healing. The first is a Holiday Card of a truck carry a Christmas tree in its box. And I'd have to drive that truck because neither Herman nor cactus buddy have their driver's licenses. They're both a little slow on the uptake but I love them very much. Nice truck, and cactus could sit in the passenger seat. Belted in of course. Safety first. And Herman could sit in the box and keep the tree company. Would work perfectly. And the other card is a state postcard of Virginia. I love postcards like this because they always have such interesting info on them. And facts. And other stuff. And there's a cardinal on this card just as there were two on that Christmas card. A mommy and daddy cardinal in fact on that other card. This card just has the daddy. The daddy cardinal is always much more colourful. Probably because he's a big show off and proud of himself and likes to strut his stuff. Herman would have him scooted away for being such a smug so and so.

Another Christmas card, this time from u/FightClubAlumni. This person is unbelievably generous and ALWAYS includes all kinds of unique add-ins to all their cards. Really gorgeous card with reindeer on the front pic. Daddy reindeer is another one of those show offs with his overtly large antlers. And mamma isn't wearing any antlers at all. Probably has to keep them in her closet at home so she doesn't outdo daddy. If she even has her own closet. Or her own antlers for that matter. Tucked inside this Christmas card is a snowflake ornament, a little glittery card with pinecones on it and a double sided hangman game on a smallish sheet of paper. Told you this person was generous. And they are a very favourite friend of mine. And of cactus buddy and Herman as well of course.

u/LillyOfTheLake sent this THANK YOU card. The envelope had some of that wushi tape, or whatever it's called, on the back with the word "CHEERS" written on it. Now I've seen the TV show "Cheers" about a bar called Cheers owned by Sam Malone. So I hope u/LillyOfTheLake wasn't getting themselves plastered when they sent out this card. Because the evidence clearly shows they were at Sam's pub when they were putting this card together. And that poor little kittie by the CHEERS sign was brought with this person to a bar. I'm gonna have to check in with Child And Family Services to see if was okay to bring their kittie cat to the pub. I hope they didn't get that poor little guy too drunk. There, did my civic duty for the day. Might even get a medal or some other award type thingy for my heroic efforts. Rescued a floofball from that demon rum. Now the inside of the card is also very interesting. There's a bunch of stamps on the upper half of the card. Now the stamps are all USA and are stuck on the upper inside of the card. So I'm assuming where this person lives that you have to pay their post office extra to mail the insides of your cards. And buy a bunch of stamps to send that inner side through the USPS. Rather odd! Don't have to do that here in Canada. "Different strokes for different countries" as the saying goes. Or was that saying "Different folks with different strokes"? Whatever! Glad we don't have to pay to have the inside of our cards mailed here in Canada. Could add up to four buckaroonies or maybe just tree fiddy in postage for all those stamps. My horsey Herman does buckaroonies when we're out galloping around but not the money kinda buckaroonies. Because he doesn't have pockets to keep any coins or paper money tucked away. I do all the money handling for him, and buddy cactus. Like I say, they're all kinds of slow. Sad as that may be but true. And to finish this card, there's a paper of stickers on the bottom half of the inside card.

Next up is a Valentine card from u/Ginger_ninjah. Now I had to google my friend google to find out about ninjahs. Apparently ninjah is the culture and lifestyle of the ancient East. And a ninjah is so fast that they break the light, speed and time barriers. And get this! A ninjah can reach Mars from Earth in 10 minutes. So I imagine Ginger_ninjah has her coffee and lunch breaks on Mars. Go figure! Anyway, there were also three other cute little Valentine cards and some of that wishi tape as well. Boy, seems people nowadays have a fascination with that tape stuff. Find it all over cards I receive for some unknown reason. Maybe that tape has some kind of hidden message embedded in it. Probably from the Martians in Ginger_ninjah's case since she apparently visits Mars according to google. And google wouldn't lie.

And last but not least is a postcard from u/Jdoodle7. It has 2000 written all over it. And ta da... all done by hand. There's so many 2000's on there that I'm gonna have to share them with Herman and cactus bud. For the longest time, I thought that Jdoodle7 had gone back in time to the year 2000. But finally it slapped me between the eyes to smarten up. It was because of my 2000 flairs on RAoC. And the card was sent as a congratulations. Well, I talk about Herman and cactus boy being slow. But look who's really the slowiest one. So I'm just gonna let Herman and cactus buddy handle all my affairs from now on. Take it away, Herman and cactus boy.

Speaking of cactus, I better get him out of his bubble bath. Be right back. Take a break everyone and go grab a snack or something or whatever it is that you do when you take a break.

Okay I'm back and boy oh boy is cactus guy ever wrinkled from his tubbing. Looks like a very big green prune. I'd towel him off but he'd just prickle the life out of me if I tried. Ornery little guy. So he's just going to have to air himself out. And one final task. Time to tackle my crossword puzzle. If you recall, it was a four letter word. And the clue was: "It's red. It smells. And you sometimes pick it in the garden." And the word was: _ O S E. Hey, I've got it. I figured it out. Boy am I ever a smartie. The answer is NOSE! Goodnight folks.