Repost for remaining cards!

Hi, everyone!

Here are some really funny and dark postcards that I’d love to offer out to USA residents. This is an offer, no exchanges please (I just like sending them, so please save your cards!!☺️)

Please comment below which you’d like and PM me (please no chats), and I’ll mark off here as they get picked!!

I hope y’all are having a great start to the week!

1. Your prosthetic limb can also be used as an oar! u/PembrokeLove

2. A restraining order means she cares about where you are! u/mostlygoodthings

3. At least they aren’t fourth degree burns! u/jnlzwrg

4. Impotence is a great way to save money on tissues! u/mlledufarge

5. The guy from Boyz II Men has a cane just like that! u/ColorlessMurakami

6. I heard roofies are really high in vitamin C!

7. Being unpopular keeps your cell phone bill down! u/HappyHermit87

8. Now that you’re blind, you can bring your dog anywhere! u/sugarmagandjohn

9. You don’t need to finish high school to learn how to smile! u/Tinawebmom

10. Divorce means you get the bed all to yourself! u/slina27

11. Your mug shot will make a perfect profile pic! u/garlic_eggdog

12. If you die before April, you don’t have to pay taxes! u/SarcasticHulktastic

13. Interventions are like little surprise parties!

14. The sluttier your daughter is, the sooner you’ll have grandkids!

15. Now that you have AIDS, you don’t have to worry about getting AIDS!

16. The odds of getting struck by lightning again are very slim!

17. Guys love widows!

18. You got robbed, but at least you didn’t get shot! u/Sable__

19. You got shot, but at least you didn’t get robbed!

20. At least you know people aren’t dating you for your looks! u/serienity

21. You have the same disease as NBA superstar Magic Johnson!

22. At least you got to look right into a solar eclipse!

23. An orphanage is a great place to meet kids your age!

24. Now that you’re paralyzed, you don’t have to go to the gym! u/ReinaKelsey

25. If the plane crashes, you won’t have to wait at baggage claim! u/garlic_eggdog

26. Maybe your leg will grow back! u/PembrokeLove

27. Having STDs means you’re super popular!

28. Being a registered sex offender proves you’re not a prude!

29. At least jail has free cable!

30. Being attacked by a shark means someone thinks you’re delicious!

31. I hear the intensive care unit had the nicest TVs! u/garlic_eggdog

32. Being pregnant in high school guarantees an “A” in sex ed!

33. Parking must be so much easier now that you’re handicapped!

34. Your extensive arrest record gives you character!

35. Having a rare disease makes you so unique! u/Tinawebmom

36. Wetting the bed means you’re young at heart! u/Knvsmom

37. Your burning house looks super cool! u/DollsandDarkness

38. They say the rice in North Korean prisons is fabulous! u/BambooVan

39. Death might be fun! u/ughhhfine

40. Alcoholism means big bucks in recycling!