I normally make these posts on Sunday, but I’ll be travelling out of London for my last job for a while tomorrow so for this week’s thank yous, I’m taking these cards somewhere from a bygone era that is bold and brilliant and full of light and colour.

Back in the days when Soho was a bit more ‘ho’ than ‘so’, and was seen as a wondrous warren of all things seedy, salacious and unspoken, the late Chris Bracey was the King of Neon and crafted all the coloured lights and flashing artwork that lured in the wayward and the curious. As Soho gentrified and sharpened up, Chris went on to create props for films as well as curate his own massive collection of neon, now contained in an unassuming industrial estate in Walthamstow where one steps through into the dazzling museum of all things brash and lurid that is God’s Own Junkyard. This weeks cards deserved a little old school and industrial dazzle, so I hope the senders don’t mind their placement this week in Chris’s vibrant collection that ranges from the motivational to the sensational to the outright gratuitous.

Firstly, the eternally sweet and lovely u/Epicny made me another card, this time oozing with affectionate vibes. Now we are in the middle of a pandemic where we are all, sadly and to my total dismay, advised not even to hug another human being, I feel this wonderful, cardy cuddle from half the world away (complete with no bullshit panda sticker that Epicny says reminds her of me and that is 100% the best compliment I’ve had this year so far!). Glad to hear the new job is going well and being so fulfilling and you feel confident and in your zone. It’s shockingly hard to make genuine connections and lasting friends as an adult, but I hope that until (and after) you make some physical ones, we can all be a decent substitute for you!

u/DrFroggie calligraphied the articulate and loquacious motivational message that I repeatedly sent dirtytightsdelano to force her to do an essay until it became a mantra. Not only was the time taken to beautifully craft the perfect penmanship, but it was adorning an elegant tag that I can now string around my assistant’s neck to spread the gentle nudge it suggests to stop being a procrastinating bellend and get his arse in gear (I complain about Harrison a lot, but I’m not a dickhead boss, we just go back a long way now and hate and love each other in equal measure and could probably never work with anyone else because no one else would tolerate either of us)

A postcard of a kitty being majorly manipulative, and a view of the Museum of Modern Art in Helsinki (I initially tried to write out the Finnish title and after five minutes of constant spelling mistakes I realised it was beyond me). These are from u/SaintMeris, the wonderful wordsmith, and she tells me about her struggles with attempting to like salmiakki – the Finnish salted licorice. I spent my early years in the Netherlands and therefore am very familiar with the Dutch version and always have a bag on hand and am always on the look out for the saltier and saltier versions, so she has definitely made me determined to source them! As for the cheetah incident questions – my uncle didn’t want my parents to know because he didn’t want to be blamed, and it was several months before I saw my parents again by which time it had scarred and presumably they just assumed the massive new, very obvious set of scars on my calf were just something they’d forgotten about!

u/mr-uppmelon sent me a vintage ad for swimwear that, frankly, I want to find and buy right now in 2020. Sculpted swimwear where I don’t have to have my flat arse on show or be conscious of the massive amount I’ve scarfed from a breakfast buffet? Sign me right up on that. She sent me song lyrics from ‘The Girl From Impanema’, the second most recorded pop song ever, but I got curious; who actually was the girl that inspired the song? Turns out that that would be Helo Pinheiro. She was, then, a seventeen year old girl that lived on Montenegro Street in Impanema who regularly visited the Velosa bar-café to buy cigarettes for her mother and would leave to a cacophony of wolf whistles. It was there that the composers first saw her and were inspired with the song making her a celebrity.

Maybe u/pastelspace is similarly inspiring someone on her trainride? The one she was on as she wrote on the back of this floral card. I had asked what her favourite Greek God or Goddess was and she opted for Poseidon as she loves the sea and tridents are cool. Totally agree about the tridents, but I’m more about the mountains and volcanoes than the ocean myself so I guess by that approach I’m rooting for Hephaestus!

A lovely heartwarming and heartfelt thank you card from u/tigerlady13 which really made my day. She was also kind enough to send me a colouring in page and a beautiful and earnest passage from ‘You Are Here’ by Jenny Lawson. I wish you continued healing and strength, and if you want any more terrible magazines and/or British chocolate please let me know!

I am mesmerized by this Texas card from u/tacosfortacoritos. Everything Texas is just so different and foreign to me so I find it immensely fascinating – I really haven’t explored enough of that part of America! But if anyone can know the difference clearly it is tacosfortacoritos, who took herself from Essex to Texas in what must definitely have been a culture shock! The moon landing stamps were also particularly cool – my parents first date happened on the night of the moon landing. What the hell? You might think; the rest of the world was glued to their TV screens that night to witness the phenomenal first steps and they were off canoodling? Well, you see, TV only came to South Africa in 1970. If it had arrived earlier, maybe their priorities would have been different and the date might never have occurred! I must ask, however, what the hell is that state plant? Even the postcard just says ‘state plant’ and points to cactus with a hat – what is it? And can I eat it?

u/Nandii1066 sent me this perfect image of the mesmerising creature that was Elizabeth Taylor who showed the world that it was possible to be a complete trainwreck, but also be highly talented, sophisticated and desirable at the same time. I may not have got round to marrying the same man twice yet, though my father did ask if I was going to just make a bracelet from all my discarded wedding rings, I replied that I was aiming for a chainmail vest*. I endeavour to take Nandii1066’s advice and channel my inner Liz – for the better parts hopefully!

*I’ve only been married once, but also nearly enough married previously that there were also rings bought. However, because I’m a practical sort, I just reused the ring from the wedding that didn’t happen for the marriage that did that then ended. I then realised that, clearly, the ring was cursed and left it on the statue of Sherlock at Baker Street where I had met my ex for the first time. The one I did actually marry, not the other one. Reason 607 why I should probably stay single forever now!

This big, beautiful, brash Quebec card is from u/New_Year_Baby and the back is similarly bold in many colours of pen, hugs and kisses washi and the startled stamp of a man who is either an aeronaut of sorts, a mountain rescue worker, or just really surprised to be there. If you ever come to London – be it this year or next or whenever – tell me and I’ll guide you in the best direction for all things HP related that aren’t a tourist rip off! It’s probably a good thing you’re not coming right now – it’s all a bit 28 days later with Corvid all about.

I love, love, love this card depicting a Czech Easter greeting with art by Josef Lada sent by u/indigo_wolf. It is endearingly magical. She also sent a card of the Charles Bridge and, having been to the Charles Bridge, I agree with her observations that it is never, ever that empty! I have many lovely memories of Prague, and I hope my card reached indigo_wolf safely as well!

I am stoked with the Seattle card from u/Longrange97 that came with fishy stamps. Historically I always hear about World’s Fairs being incredible, amazing, ground breaking, huge international events from the first one in Crystal Palace in London to Chicago when H.H Holmes took it as an opportunity to build a murder house. Do they still occur? Apparently they do – this year there is one in Dubai – and I’m so intrigued to see what they’re like. Dubai is bloody expensive though so maybe 2023 in Argentina would be better. Anyone up for a 2023 RAoC meetup in Argentina?

Well chaps, I wish you all health, resilience and support in this time of trepidation. Know that, whatever embarrassing desperation the current pandemic has lead you to, you have not been the one that was so stressed by the complete lack of cat litter in the shops that she stole sand from a box in a nearby children’s playground to use instead. That is my corona confession of the day and yous are all free to judge accordingly.

Shine bright you crazy diamonds, you excellent crowd of all things uplifting, may your spirit be vibrant with rock and roll, and your cupboards appropriately stocked. This has been London calling.