Dear future Card Recipients,

It is I, Sober James, writing to you in an attempt to destroy my liver. Yes, my liver has done atrocious things, and therefor deserves the punishment that only a collective mob can create. So, I ask that you band with me, pick up your pitchforks, and assign unto me the unenviable doom of having to send you a Christmas Card while I am drunk off my ass.

Drunk James will never know what hit him.

If you would like to receive a Christmas Card from me, for free of course, please sign up on my form located here. If you would like a sober Christmas card, just untick the box that says "Intoxicated". Please leave me a note about something you'd like in the card, otherwise you'll probably get something about peanut butter and Christmas Carols. (The actual Carols of Christmas, not the songs. Way scarier, I assure you.)

That's all. Have a great weekend, and keep your outlooks positive!