My housemate friend, also a carder, came to me the other day while cleaning out his stuff, and said, "Did you give me this thing? I don't want it. You take it!" The "it" in question, friends, is this.

It turns out I did not, in fact, give it to him, but now I have it. And I would like one of you lovely people of RAoC to have it instead.

It does not have any credit/source info, it is literally just a giant whatever-it-is on thick glossy stock. I could Google reverse-image-search it, and I will, but not until after this offer because I don't want to ruin the game.

"What game," you ask?

Well, that's what we're going to do for this offer. The recipient of this work of, er, art, will be the first person to correctly follow the directions to claim that I'm listing below in a way that gives me something I can work with. I will send them this card with an improvised story based on the information they provide, as well as any info I turn up about the actual provenance of the image.

To claim:

• You must be in the US, because this is both large and kinda odd-shaped, and I don't want to mess with it not getting where it's supposed to go.
• You need to leave a comment on this post with answers to the following 5 questions (which you will make up, of course, there are no "right" answers):
  • What is the creature on the left's name and pronouns?
  • What is the name of its species or kind?
  • What is the swimsuit-wearer's name and pronouns?
  • What is the general relationship between the two? (For instance, predator and prey, boss and employee, dating couple, lifelong besties, someone asking for directions from a random stranger, etc.?)
  • What is the prized possession of the creature on the left that they take everywhere with them? You can't see it in the image, but whatever it is, is definitely nearby on the beach, not far from reach.

Bonus offer: While you obviously can't get this original masterpiece, I WOULD be willing to write a story on a random postcard for a few more people who provide answers to the same questions, even after the original card is claimed. So please have fun with this! I'll close the offer when I'm out of ideas.