First, I declare my status as a New Jersyan (sp?), thank you very much. Second, brace yourself for some shit talking I am about to unload. Third, the shit talking is meant in jest, but I am suspecting a lot of you pussies will be triggered. Please do not take me too seriously. I am a cynic but I also like to make dumb jokes. Plus, I am from Jersey, so being like this is part of my DNA. I really don't mean any harm. Fourth, this is going to be a ridiculously long post and you may want to stop reading right now.

Now that my disclaimers are out of the way, I will begin. I am, unfortunately, going to have to spend some time in Philadelphia this week. I usually avoid the entire state of Pennsylvania, but I can't this time. I am going to try to make the best of it by finding some adventure.

I am looking for a gentleman to hang out with and see where things go. I have a lot of pent up frustration that I need to release. I'd like to indulge in a fun, short-term rendezvous.

I know Philly is highly unreliable, but I am being optimistic in my endeavor. The last few times I chatted with some citizens of Philly, it didn't go well. One couldn't hold a conversation and ghosted me, another flaked on me several times, and another disappeared after I shared my pic and then reappeared for God knows what. Blah. Despite all that, I persist because I have had fun in Philly in the past, but the gentleman was from out of town and decently reliable. Not sure if that counts. He sort of redeemed the city but not the people. Perhaps an out of towner will come to my rescue again? I'm almost used to being let down, it's my default setting. For some reason, I am keeping the hope that maybe something will work out. I have (very) low expectations though.

Chatting online beforehand is a requirement. I like to get to know people before I jump into things. If you can't have a conversation, don't reach out. I should be able to have you over to the place I will be staying. I want to meetup beforehand for a drink or bite. Probably a bite because I am a hungry girl and love to eat. Maybe you know a good place? I'll be staying by a place where they keep lots of boats, I think. I can't venture too far from this place.

I am open to a lot, and my kinks are more mild than wild. I am craving making out, cuddles, hand stuff, mutual masturbation, fun with toys, biting and PIV sex. I'm also craving a marathon session that will leave me exhausted haha. I only play safe, so be willing, able and ready to use a condom if things get there.

(I'm going to do some copy-pasta from my prior posts now with some slight edits.)

About me: Looks-wise, sorry, I am not a pretty girl. Even "cute" is a stretch. I'm a little weird looking with big eyes, big nose, thin lips. I'm not white, wear glasses, have black hair (with some grays). I'm 5'7", but in guy measurements I am 6 foot. I am fat, I am going through a lot of stress-inducing crap and food is my outlet, unfortunately. If you're looking for a fit girl, I am not her. My tits are ok, I have no ass, no hips. I've got lumpy, bumpy skin, with scars galore, stretch marks and dark private bits and nips. I recently added a burn to my body which is a bit scary. I have hair everywhere. Everywhere. I do my best to shave/trim it but I miss spots. I do look as bad as I sound, ha.

I have a lot of pics in my past posts. I might look good in some pics because (thankfully) technology lets me crop and blur things. For every 100 pics I take, only 1 or 2 look decent enough to post. Oof, that was hard to write.

Outside of looks, I am a weirdo, as you should have already realized. I'm a bit scrappy, opinionated, somewhat stubborn. I work a corporate job but have managed to hold on to my soul and conscience, both are hanging on by a thread. I am an introvert, usually quiet and reserved, but I do open up once comfortable. I am unassuming, the girl that usually gets ignored or overlooked. I'm always feeling lonely and blue but I find happiness in simple things that I can't recall right now. Some good stuff about me:::: I am from New Jersey, the best state! I always try to be kind, respectful and friendly toward others. I am passionate, sensual, caring and I value the differences in people. I enjoy helping people and making them laugh. Deep inside of me is a little freak that enjoys having a sexy and fun time. I have a sense of humor that ranges from silly and sarcastic to very dark. I am capable of very deep and emotionally-rich thoughts that most mortals are not comfortable with. Just let me know if I am treading a scary space for you and I will back off.

About you: First and foremost, you should be ok with how I described myself. Be at least 30 years old, or older. Be a nonsmoker, be clean, drug free and disease free. I'm fine with whatever your relationship status is, just be upfront about it. I appreciate kindness, wit, intellect, patience and maturity. Please have, at least, average intelligence. I have a strong preference for white, fit/muscular, dominant men, but I can be (and have been) swayed. I prefer a guy to be a bit bigger than me, size-wise (I like to feel small). Your penis should also be at least average in size, or a bit larger. No monster cocks, I can't handle them. Please don't be a jerk. Please have actual time to chat and meet. I appreciate communication and the build-up before meeting. Please don't be too pushy or get butthurt if I am not interested. Respect my boundaries.

Also, no flakes that can't make or commit to plans. Please do not reach out if your transportation breaks down often, if you or your social circle get sick at inopportune times, or if you're habitually late. The aforementioned things make you a flake risk. Again, be able to meet in-person. Be able to keep an engaging conversation going, a lot of people can't. Also, I feel weird saying this, have some game and be comfortable with being sexual.

If you're interested in me and meet my gigantic list of demands above, message me! Please send a message that I may respond to. I am picky and I get turned off easily. I wrote a long post so I expect a bit of effort in response to this. I also really need a good connection to feel comfortable to meet. When you write to me, start a conversation and let me know why you're interested, provide a description of how you look, or a pic (if you're brave), your availability and location this week, other helpful info/insight, something interesting to hook me, any questions for me. I most likely won't reply if you send me a crappy message. I will also ask for a picture before meeting anyone, so be able to provide that.

I know this is very short notice. After rereading my own ridiculous post, I am not counting on this to work but, here I am, willing to take the risk. Let's see how this ends up.

If you read to the end, thanks :) I will shut up, now.