A while back I posted about a RAOMD scenario where the goal was simply pleasure rather than orgasm. If you’re curious, you can read the original post. My idea was that I tend to have a distracting internal monologue when I’m receiving oral from someone for the first time: “am I taking too long to come, is she sick of this, and should I offer to move on to something else?” Then I don’t come, and it’s awkward. In fact, I’d never come the first time I received head from someone new. My female friends have described similar issues while receiving, so I wanted to offer a RAOMD where the goal was simply pleasure, like a massage. Orgasms would be a hopeful possibility, but not the definition of success for the interaction.

I got a reply from a lovely redditor who’ll remain anonymous unless she chooses to self-identify. I’d read her posts before, so I was excited when I got a reply from her. She described a similar internal monologue to mine, making it difficult to stay in the moment, especially over longer periods of time. She requested we video chat which seemed to go well, and then suggested a specific time a couple weeks later. Not the timeframe I was expecting, but plenty of time to let the anticipation build!

I was nervous the whole morning before she came over, but had a good feeling it would go well. Something I never discussed with her: I wasn’t able to figure out the video chat app we used, so I only saw her video in a tiny 1 inch circle, never on full screen. I knew I wanted to go through with this RAOMD, but it’s tough to judge attraction in low resolution. I’m happy to say when she walked up to me I could immediately tell she was someone I’d love to go down on. Chatting for a few minutes on my couch, I felt comfortable with her and excited to get intimate, and soon she suggested we move to the bedroom. I asked if we could start with a practice neither of us had tried before called orgasmic meditation, which was my inspiration for removing orgasm as the goal. You can google it, but basically it involves very light strokes on her clit with one hand, and the thumb of the other hand on the opening of her vagina. This is done for 15 minutes (with a timer) with the goal of focusing on sensation and pleasure, not orgasm. I added a blindfold for her into the mix, hoping to heighten the sensation and quiet her internal monologue.

Orgasmic meditation is… interesting. For the first minute or two it seemed a little silly, then I think we both settled in to it. Her breathing became faster and shallower, and the muscles in her toned thighs and stomach began to lightly convulse. I tried different speeds of stroking, but held at each speed for at least a minute or two. She told me the sensations were changing quite a bit over time, even when I hadn’t changed speed or pressure. Eventually her muscle contractions intensified and made it to the opening of her vagina, where it felt like she was lightly sucking my thumb into her. The 15 minutes was up sooner than I think either of us expected. I’d been lost in full concentration on her vagina, which was a sexy experience.

After that the blindfold came off, and I moved to the main course. I kissed along her legs, licked along her labia, but couldn’t resist moving up to her clit fairly quickly. I tried a few different techniques, but soon discovered what got the most intense reaction. She put the blindfold back on for a while, saying it was helpful for concentrating on the sensation, but eventually took it off again. I can’t say how long that part lasted, but I wanted to spend a while using only my mouth, and I certainly did. Spending a long time between her legs without feeling a need to advance towards a specific goal was wonderful, but eventually her moans and gasps became louder, and she began moving her hips a lot more. I stuck to what was working best, and was rewarded with what seemed like a long, slowly-building, and loud orgasm. She’d told me about a specific technique she liked after coming, which I did, and then I slid a finger inside her, and then two. For the next half hour or so, I alternated between intense g spot stimulation, taking a break laying next to her with my fingers still moving slowly inside her, and then back for some more oral with fingering in a few different positions to get the best angle for both of us.

I was tired when I called it quits, and she seemed spent and satisfied. We discussed the experience for a bit, both of us talking about how she’d seemed like she was on the edge of another orgasm for a while, but didn’t want to put an expectation on it.

After relaxing for a bit, she reached down to feel my cock, and soon she was kneeling between my legs. I guess I was a little pent up, because I gasped when she took the head of my cock into her mouth, and began teasing it slightly deeper with each stroke. As is usual for me, I settled into the blowjob and enjoyed it fully at first, but after a couple minutes my own internal monologue started. I tried the blindfold myself, which was helpful, but later took it off, wanting to see her gorgeous blue eyes looking up at me. I mentioned my problematic internal monologue had started, and she helped me work through it, assuring me she was enjoying every second of what she was doing. I wasn’t able to quiet my thoughts completely, and if I’m honest, part of my distraction involved wanting to suggest we have sex, but we hadn’t discussed that possibility. I was definitely enjoying the blowjob, and was more in the moment than I’d been with anyone going down on me for the first time. After what seemed like quite a while of wonderfully enthusiastic oral, I could feel my body tensing up towards orgasm. I told her, and she gave me the sexiest smile and a breathy “come for me” while she jerked me off onto her chest.

So, that was the first time I’ve come from an all-new partner giving me a blowjob. I’m sure I’ll never forget that experience with her, and hopefully it will help me relax during future first blowjobs.

We laid on my bed and talked a bit more before she had to leave. It was a wonderful experience, and I feel grateful to have shared that time with her.

Hopefully this inspires women who have trouble with their own internal monologues during oral to consider temporarily removing orgasm as the goal of oral sex. Perhaps with me ;) If you're interested, send me a PM!