Confused? Let me explain. When I receive oral from a new partner, after a few minutes I tend to not be in the moment, and instead think things like: “Is she getting sick of this? Does her jaw hurt? Is she only doing this because wants me to like her? What if she wants to stop but feels awkward about it? I should really try to come soon. Shit, I don’t feel like I’m anywhere near coming… should we move on to sex? What if she doesn’t want to have sex…” and so on. If we don’t move on to sex, first-time oral with someone new has always ended slightly awkwardly without me coming, reassuring her I enjoyed it but it just wasn’t my night to come.

When I’ve mentioned this to female friends, many of them say they experience something similar receiving oral. Some have told me they don’t even like receiving oral because of this, they just feel like it’s a guy trying to make them come and if they don’t it’s a failure, so they either say no to oral or fake the orgasm.

If that’s how you feel about oral, this post is for you. (Of course if you feel that way maybe you’re unlikely to be reading r/randomactsofmuffdive, but we’ll see!) The goal is making you feel good, like a massage, and me enjoying providing you pleasure and the intimacy of going down on you. The goal is not you having an orgasm. Maybe you will have one, in fact I hope you will and you probably do too, but let’s take that off the table as the expectation and goal of this meetup. If my mouth gets tired, I’ll use my fingers for a bit, if I need a break I’ll snuggle up next to you and lazily stroke you to keep you turned on, maybe lightly kissing and sucking on your nipples, before moving back down and continuing. If I want to stop, I’ll stop. When you feel you’ve had enough, you’ll say so and we’ll have successfully given and received pleasure. This way you know I’m actually happy to be doing what I’m doing, and you can focus on how it feels. Of course I want it to feel good for you, so I’m happy to take direction - faster, slower, harder, softer. And if you happen to be on the brink of coming when I’m ready to take a break or switch things up, I’d love to hear you ask me to keep going just a little longer. But the point is it’s not me busily working just to make you come, and you feeling like I’m waiting on it. Instead it’s me enjoying pleasuring you, you guiding me to make it feel as good as possible for you, and us enjoying that together for as long as we both want to.

If this sounds good to you, send me a PM. For me to want to spend a while between your legs, I need to be attracted to you and feel comfortable with you, and you probably need the same for me. So we’ll exchange photos in PM, we can talk on the phone if you want, and if we both want to meet we can get coffee or a drink first to make sure it feels right, then head to your place or mine. I’d love to make out for a bit, and start with a massage, both to get you relaxed and comfortable with my touch, and for me to get to know your body. Those aren’t strictly necessary though. Reciprocation is not expected but welcome if the spirit moves you, hopefully with a similar goal of pleasure rather than orgasm.

I’m 32, white, 5’9” with a stocky build, dark brown hair in a short buzz cut and stubble, with brownish hazel eyes. Introverted but not shy, friendly, and kind. I live in Somerville right near a red line stop, and can drive anywhere in the area. I’m single and open to more if we really hit it off.