Hey, beautiful souls of the Random Acts of Muff Dive subreddit! 🍷😈

So, I thought I’d sprinkle a little charm and humor into your day with a top 10 list of why you should want me and only me to meet you at your front door with a bottle of wine, my charming smile ready to be in that sweet spot between your legs. Buckle up; it’s about to get fun!

1. The Bad Boy Look with a Gentleman's Touch I’m 40, standing tall at 6'2" with a short well-kept beard and tattoos that tell stories. Don't worry, I'm not just a pretty face with a bad boy vibe; I also know how to hold a door open for you. I promise I won’t let my rough exterior overshadow my delightful manners!

2. Your Private Wine Tasting I’ll bring a bottle of wine for you to sip on while I work my magic below. It’s like a private tasting, but instead of grapes, you’re going to be sampling my unparalleled skills. Trust me; you won’t find a sommelier better equipped for this!

3. No Reciprocation Required (But Who Are We Kidding?) I’m all about getting you to that peak of bliss without expecting anything in return. Although, a little reciprocation wouldn’t hurt—after all, good things should be shared, right? 😉

4. The Element of Surprise I’m a man of mystery (and maybe a little mischief). You might think you know what to expect from your average guy between the legs, but I guarantee that I’ll keep you guessing—just like whether I’ll choose a red or white!

5. Thoroughly Tattooed and Ready Those tattoos? Each one has a story that I’d be thrilled to share while I’m… well, busy down below. Just think of them as a conversation starter, instead of an unexpected awkward silence!

6. Skill Level: Professional Muff Diver Let’s face it, I didn’t earn my stripes by just wadding in the shallow end, I’ve been diving for years and have honed my craft into an art form.

7. Candles? Check. Mood? Check. Distraction? 10/10 Picture it: A cozy setting, soft candlelight, and of course, yours truly in prime position for fun. I’ll ensure the ambiance is so perfect you’ll forget all about that Netflix series you were half-watching.

8. Appreciation for All Body Types I believe everyone deserves a personal diving champion. So no matter how you see yourself, I'll be sure to make you feel pampard, special and beautiful.

9. An Upgrade from Your Average Joe Let’s be honest; guys who wear socks with sandals don’t stand a chance against someone who can rock tattoos and piercings while also being a gentleman. I’m here to give you an upgrade—consider me the luxury model of muff diving!

10. I'm Just Here for the Fun! At the end of the day, I’m here to have a good time, share some pleasure, and make sure you leave with a smile (or several). Life’s too short not to indulge every now and then!

So, if you’re looking for a bad boy that can crack a joke, sip wine, and explore the depths of delight, let's make some magic happen between those legs of yours. Just remember: it’s all about you, and I’m here to ensure you feel like the queen you are. 👑

Can’t wait to hear from you! Cheers to good vibes and even better times! 🍷💋

P.s I can host or happy to travel