Yo baby! You ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?

Always loved that line. I'm sure it would never work though. But where else would I get to try it without looking like a complete weirdo? Bonus points if you get the reference. I used to use it as my post title but I think it worked against me for those who have no clue where it comes from.

But anyway, I'm not just limited to Worc, MA. I'm south of Worcester myself but I figured the city would be a better place to base this from as a small town doesn't get as much search traffic. Pretty much anywhere in southern New England works for me. Maine, northern NH and VT are a bit of a stretch so you'd have to be special for me to go that far. Have tongue, will travel as they say. Or I can host at my place if you can travel to me. Give a new meaning to Uber Eats. If I do host, know I have two cats so if you are allergic you'll be forewarned. But I will shut the door and have fresh clean un-cat-haired sheets for the event.

So, about me. I'm 52, born and lived as a man, I'm 6'1", a bit soft around the middle, but hey, that happens with age. I'm big, burly, broad chested, bearded with hair, a stereotypical classic trucker look. A former gym rat, but injuries throughout life have put an end to that.

I'd be like other guys here on reddit and go into a five page dissertation about my junk and what it's like with several graphic pictures using a fisheye lens so it looks like it's a foot and a half long and as thick as a Pringles can, but if you're here, you don't care about that. And I don't expect Mr. Johnson to come into play anyways. Nothing for me is expected, needed, or even wanted.

Personally, I'd like to chat a bit and meet up first to get to know each other a bit before anything happens. Coffee, dinner, drinks, or whatnot before meeting Colonel Angus, the southern explorer. I also have assorted BDSM gear and toys if you are interested in such things, but that is totally optional and up to your discretion, comfort, and trust.

About you. I'm not too picky. If there's a bit of connection that's mostly what matters. I do prefer younger than me, or at least younger looking. I will say though, I've honestly always wanted to try a petite girl. You know, one I could pick up, carry around, and lick like a double scoop ice cream cone. But I'd be happy to taste any flavor or scoop size. Just be clean and disease and drug free. Not a fan of smokers either. The smell puts me off. Of the smoke, not the love nest. Same with the 420 people. I don't care if you smoke, but the smell of it makes me gag. But feel free to bring your edibles.

Okay, this is getting novel length now and we aren't here to read but to get you some oral satisfaction so I'll cut this off. Besides, I've put myself in the mood for some ice cream.

I don't expect much to come of this, but hey, I figured I'd give it a shot. If you're interested, you know what to do. If not, I hope you get your licks in somewhere fun and find out how many it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Tootsie pop. Just don't ask Mr. Owl. He taps out rather quickly.

Your thoughts right now:

Damn, this guy just won't shut up! I just want my oral satisfaction, not to read a freakin' book!