Hello there 👋. Thanks in advance for humoring me and checking out my post! I recently moved to the Cleveland area and am hoping to find a local woman who is as enthusiastic as I am about the concept of a non-reciprocal relationship. There's a lot I have to say on the topic but first, a quick TL;DR for those in a hurry:

TL;DR: I'm hoping to find an on-going FWB relationship that's centered solely around your pleasure, relaxation, and convenience. I have no other expectations or ulterior motives, I simply get WAY more satisfaction from giving than I do receiving. The dream from my end is a simple relationship where I can give you my undivided attention, worship your body, learn about you and what you like, and explore the limits of your pleasure together. I want everything about this relationship to be catered to your specific needs, wants, and circumstances as much as possible.

I understand you might be pretty skeptical about all of this for a plethora of reasons. Or even if not, I imagine there are some reading this who simply don't have any sort of experience with something like this. So I'm going to take the time to really dive (heh) into some of the finer details of who I am, what exactly I'm hoping for, and why this is something I'm so passionate about!

I'm going to try my best to be relatively concise. But there's also just a lot I want to talk about. So this is inevitably going to be a bit of a read. That being said - If you're someone who doesn't appreciate giant walls of sexy, informative text - don't click away just yet! I'll be highlighting the important bits like this. So if you want to get to the gist of what I'm about, feel free to just skim over these parts.

I'd still highly recommend reading all of it if you have the time though! I'm not a writer, and I'm sure that'll show. But I did put a lot of soul and effort into putting this together. I also tried super hard to edit and proofread things carefully, and to make sure there weren't too many useless sentences in here. Like that one. And that one. And that one... Ahhhh, infinite loop oh nooo! 🤯

Ahem. Anyway, with all that boring introductory stuff out of the way, let me jump right into this by er... Introducing myself a little. I'm 35 years old, 5'8, ~200lb, white, and pretty nerdy (if that somehow wasn't obvious by now lol). I love to read books, play video games, watch movies, play guitar, go hiking, and in general love trying and learning new things. I write code for a living, I have two cats and a dog that I love with all my heart, and I regularly try to broaden my horizons and keep an open mind for new experiences. I guess my point really in saying all of this is that I'm a relatively average and down to earth guy*. *(All things considered)

Alright, so now that you know a little bit more about me (more on that later), let me talk about what I'm looking for a little more specifically. Primarily, I'm hoping to find a woman who would enjoy the idea of having a man dedicated to giving her unreciprocated massages and/or oral sex. Just to be 100% clear, our time together doesn't have to be sexual or intimate if that's not what you're into in general, or even if it's just not something you're in the mood for on a particular day. Ultimately I just want to make you feel good, and I'm happy to do that in whatever way suits your needs.

Furthermore, I want this to be a totally effortless and drama free source of stress relief, support, and/or release in your life. I have no other expectations of you or your time. And your personal life and priorities ALWAYS come first!

Another important aspect of the relationship to me is that I'd like this to be completely at your convenience (schedules allowing), and with as few strings attached as possible. I do work full time and have commitments that can't be shuffled around outside of that. So I can't always make that sentiment a literal reality. As such, scheduling ahead of time would always be the most consistent route. But conceptually, I really love the idea of being called up on a whim when you find yourself in the mood for a little "Me" time. So please don't be shy about that. Even if it's last minute and you only want a shoulder rub on your lunch break. Call me. Use me however you see fit. That's what I'm here for!

Lastly, the dream on my end is for this to be custom-tailored to your personal preferences and specific circumstances. That's part of the fun for me! For example, maybe for you this is primarily about stress relief. Maybe you work a very physically or mentally taxing job, and after a long, grueling day you'd like the idea of knowing that your personal masseur will waiting for you at home with a glass of wine, scented candles, soothing music, and a warm bath already drawn with a fresh robe ready for you.

Or maybe to you it's more about relieving physical discomfort. Perhaps you work on your feet 40 hours a week and suffer from chronic fibromyalgia, so your body is sore 24/7 and you'd love the idea of scheduling regular massages to help manage the pain, but can't afford to see a massage therapist every week. I'm not a professional by any means. So y'know, please keep that in mind and consult a physician if you need to! But I would love nothing more than to spend countless hours learning and practicing how to massage your body until I've mastered every little nuance. From where you carry tension in your body, to the exact placement and pressure you prefer, to the oils, scents, and lotions you enjoy feeling on your skin. I'm also happy to learn different techniques and buy specialized equipment as long as it's within my means.

Maybe you're simply in a situation where you don't have the time or energy for a serious relationship, but you still have needs and would like the idea of having someone consistent to talk and flirt with regularly. Maybe you love receiving oral, but have never had a partner spend more than 15 minutes focused on your pleasure before demanding a blowjob.

Ok, that's probably enough what-ifs. Hopefully you get the point! The bottom line is I'd really love to hear where and how I might fit into your life. So if you reach out, please don't be shy about sharing how you'd envision things if it were 100% up to you! I'd really like this to be your fantasy just as much as it is mine. Absolutely no judgement from my end no matter how 'out there' your desires might be. Exploration is a big part of the fun for me!

Hopefully this goes without saying. But to be 100% clear, I have no sense of 'ownership' towards you or your time, and will ALWAYS respect any and ALL boundaries you might have. So if you ultimately decide this isn't for you for any reason or at any time, I promise I won't be a jerk about it. When I say at your convenience, I mean both in the immediate sense and in that this relationship can last as long as it suits you. (Although I do want to go into this under the assumption that it'd be more of a long term relationship assuming we click).

Ok! So now that you hopefully have a bit of a better idea of who I am and what I'm looking for, let me take a minute to switch gears and answer what's probably the most frequent question I get:

(Ok that all sounds wonderful. So what's the catch then?)

Well, that's a tricky question. From my perspective, there is none. I really do want nothing in return, I'm exactly who I say I am (If I wasn't then why would I say I am? (Damn it Eminem, not now!)). However, there are 3 things about me that can be dealbreakers which I'd like to be upfront about (As a side note: I apologize for not putting this section at the top. Especially if it turns out I've completely wasted your time. But I wanted to fully explain the dynamic of the relationship I'm looking for since this is a new concept to most people I talk to about it. And I'm selfishly hoping the extra bit of context might pique your interest and ultimately factor into your decision to start a conversation with me!) :

1. I'm in an open marriage. (Open as in my wife knows I do this and everything about it, she's totally ok with it, and we've had this arrangement for awhile now. If you're concerned I may be cheating and want absolute proof, you'd be welcome to talk to her personally. Or I'm happy to take a picture with us together giving the thumbs up to your username. But otherwise you'd never meet or talk to my wife, and she would never be directly involved in our relationship aside from looking out for my personal safety when we first meet.)
2. I can't host in the long term. (That being said, I wouldn't expect you to invite me to your place or come to mine without being 100% comfortable with me first. So for what it's worth I'm happy to cover the cost of a hotel room for our first time so you can try this out in a neutral environment without having to fully commit until you're sure you would like to keep seeing me.)
3. I think I'm relatively average in terms of appearance. (I'm not sure if this is even worth mentioning since it's such a subjective thing anyway. But I just want to be upfront and set appropriate expectations. I've been called handsome, disappointingly average, and have been immediately ghosted upon sending my pictures in the past. Sooo at the very least I have no intention of quitting my day job and becoming a model. Either way, point being there's absolutely no hard feelings if I'm simply not your type for any reason!)

Alright! So assuming I haven't scared you off yet, I think it's a good time to mention that I do have 4 hard requirements on who I can and will meet with. I think they're all fairly reasonable and straightforward. (But I did put some explanation in parenthesis after each one with some clarification on my reasoning.)

1. Must be single or in an open relationship. (If you're in a relationship, your partner MUST be both aware of this and ok with it. PLEASE don't use me to cheat! I don't want to be responsible for hurting anyone's feelings or breaking up a relationship, nor do I want to get assaulted by an angry husband or put my wife or anyone else I love at risk.)
2. Must be free of STIs*. (*if oral is involved) (I hope this doesn't come off as rude. But I don't have any infections and hope to keep it that way! So please be upfront with me. Even if you do have an STI, that doesn't mean there's nothing I can do for you. It just limits our options a bit.)
3. Must be 21 or older (I do typically click better with people closer to my age, so my ideal range would probably be something more like 28-45 to be honest. But over the years I've been pursuing this hobby/fetish there have been a lot of wonderful exceptions to that. So age isn't that important to me as long as the chemistry is there!)
4. Consistent (not necessarily frequent) Communication is a must (I respect that people have different schedules, circumstances, and styles of communication. And I'm of course happy to be flexible and to work around your situation as much as possible - I mean that's the idea. But if you can't be transparent with me about basic things, or if you're someone who takes weeks to respond to messages without any sort of context or explanation, that's going to be an immediate deal-breaker for me! Naturally, that's a two way street - I won't play any games with you and I tend to overcommunicate unless told otherwise if that wasn't clear by now. Lol)

And on the less concrete side of things:

Personality/Chemistry is a major factor (For me this is SO much more fun with a partner who shares my enthusiasm for the spirit of the relationship and is unapologetically herself! So please don't go out of your way to impress me or to be anyone other than your genuine self. Part of what makes this rewarding for me is having the privilege of experiencing that real, unfiltered version of you and being able to share in your raw, uninhibited pleasure. I want to appreciate and worship you for who you are. I hope that sort of makes sense! )

Something else I want to point out is that I have no preference or bias towards any race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, level of experience, political affiliation, or anything like that. I'm white, male, straight, was raised Catholic (although I'd consider myself an Agnostic/Atheist these days). I tend to lean on the liberal side politically, I smoke weed on occasion, and I think Donald Trump is straight up just a terrible human being. If any of those things are a problem for you I'll respect that of course - that's why I wanted to be upfront about it here.

But for what it's worth, over all my years of doing this I've met and had an amazing time with people from a variety of different backgrounds, cultures, religions, views, levels of education, and walks of life. So please don't let our differences stop you from reaching out to me if that's a concern of yours! If the only thing we have in common is that you like getting free massages and I like giving them, that's totally fine with me. As long as we can enjoy ourselves and treat each other with mutual respect at the end of the day.

That being said, hard requirements and all that aside, there are a few things that are not requirements. But are a HUGE bonus in my book (listed below). Definitely let me know if any of these apply to you for bonus points! :P

1. You have a particularly stressful life/situation. (This is by far one of the biggest motivators for me. I really love something about the concept of doing this as a means of relieving stress or tension in someone's life. I see SO many stressed out people every day and watch them carry it with them everywhere they go. Nothing would make me happier than the idea of being incorporated into your life as a regular part of your self-care. My goal is to create an environment where you can truly let go, relax, and blow off some steam. I want to see you thrive and to cheer you on from the sidelines while I quietly play my small part in helping you manage your stress.)
2. You're a victim of rape or abuse, have never been able to put your own needs first, and/or struggle with intimacy. (Over my years of pursuing this I've had the privilege of meeting several women who've shared their personal stories of the abusive relationships they've endured and how it made it difficult for them to feel comfortable with their own bodies, trust others, or deal with the inherent vulnerability that comes with intimacy. I can't make any promises since everyone's situation is totally unique and let's be real - I'm just some guy at the end of the day. But some have found the environment and level of control this sort of dynamic offers to be a safe, comfortable, and effective way to ease back into things and explore their sexuality at their own pace. If any of that resonates with you, please let me know. I promise to listen and respect you at all times, and have absolutely no problem being patient and taking anything in our relationship at whatever pace you feel most comfortable with, even if that's a millimeter at a time. No pressure, no rush, no expectations. Just endless support, effort, and celebrating our progress together! )
3. Your current situation makes it challenging for you to have a consistent or serious relationship. (Single mothers, graveyard shift workers, medical staff, people with extremely busy lives, erratic schedules, etc... Basically anyone who finds themselves in a situation where they have needs, and would really like to have a consistent partner, but might not have the time or energy to put into maintaining a relationship. I understand something like this might not be your ideal situation. But it'd be my pleasure to at least be a reliable and low maintenance partner who is there for you when you need him.)
4. You've never been able to orgasm from oral sex before. (This is a bold statement I know. But I take a lot of pride in being good at what I do. Aside from having quite a lot of hands on (tongues on?) experience, I'm very passionate about cunnilingus and go out of my way to constantly learn, grow, and improve. There's nothing I enjoy more than the challenge of focusing 100% of my attention and spending as long as it takes to make a difficult woman cum. Or the magic I feel when I get to share in the experience of my partner's first full body orgasm. If you don't think you can possibly cum from oral sex, I'd love to have the pleasure of proving you wrong! No problem if we don't get there the first time we meet. I'm happy to munch away for as long as it takes, for as many times as you'll let me, and will do my best to constantly learn, improve, and cater the experience to your unique body and sexuality. Whether it's our first time or hundredth, whether that be from listening to your direct verbal feedback, or paying close attention to every twitch, moan, and breath while you're melting under the warmth of my tongue. I can't make any meaningful promises about the end result (although this is a situation where the journey can be more fun than the destination!). But I do promise I'll always have the same level of enthusiasm, and take the same meticulous approach, attention to detail, and effort that I used in writing this post to give you the most mind-blowing orgasm you've ever experienced. Not to make it sound too boring or anything ;))
5. You can go for hours / are multi-orgasmic. (It's a bit hard to explain this one. But there's just something SO satisfying to me about the build up and the ebb and flow that comes with going for hours non-stop. I love seeing my partner get to a point where she's completely limp and worn out from back to back orgasms, and her clit is so sensitive and swollen that even a gentle breath between her legs is enough to make her entire body shudder. And I love everything about slowly teasing, edging, and building up from that point with a feather's touch until she starts to recover and demands more stimulation. Mmm! No joke, I would literally eat pussy as a full time job if that were possible/legal. I'm completely insatiable. So there's something uniquely satisfying to me about meeting a woman who will unapologetically demand that I dedicate my entire evening to working tirelessly for her pleasure.)

Phew! That was a lot to get through. But hopefully that gives you a better sense of who and what I'm looking for, and an idea of why it is I do this. If you're still with me, thank you so much for reading and I hope to chat with you soon! Naturally, if you have ANY questions about me, feel free to ask. No matter how personal. Transparency is super important to me, and I'm an open book!

Last but not least, if you're still curious to learn more, I'm also putting a few frequently asked questions below. At a high level these questions address concerns around STIs, safety & logistics, why I don't accept reciprocation, and what I 'get' out of doing this:

Q: This sounds fun and all, but I'm really worried about getting an STI from you. You're clearly a man-whore, how do I know you won't give me mega-herpes or something?

A: Hey now, don't call me a man-whore, how rude! And I'm pretty sure mega-herpes isn't even a real thing! Anyway, I do get tested somewhat regularly and am happy to share the results with you as proof. I'm also happy to get freshly tested on request so you can have complete peace of mind.

For what it's worth though, I'm also only looking for one person to have this kind of relationship with at a time.

Q: Sure, you SAID you weren't an axe-murderer, but that's probably exactly what a fancy axe-murderer WOULD say! How do I know you are who you say you are?!

A: Good point, I'm no expert on axe-murderers, but if I was going to get into the lucrative business of axe-murdering I'd totally start by telling people I wasn't one. Or better yet avoiding the conversation entirely.

I have no problem meeting up first and chatting somewhere neutral over coffee or whatever. We can text/e-mail back and forth until you're comfortable, we can take as long as you want for us to get to know each other, I can share my personal Facebook account with you and you can stalk me all the way back to my cringey teenage years of posting passive-aggressive song lyrics instead of dealing with my problems. There's a lot of options really, but the unfortunate truth is that I don't know of anything that's realistically 100% axe-murderer proof and eliminates all risk.

Either way, I'm open to suggestions, and am happy to do whatever I can to make sure you feel as comfortable and confident as possible going into this. Within reason anyway.

Q: What are you playing at? No reciprocation? What's the catch? Let me guess, you're just using this as some gimmick to get sex. 'Oooh, thanks for giving me a nice relaxing massage and the best head of my life. Ravage me now you big strong man'.

A: Well I really hope you end up feeling that good about me when all is said and done. And I do always appreciate being reminded what a big, strong man I am. But no, I really and sincerely don't want anything in return, nor would I ever accept it if you offered.

There's two main reasons I don't accept reciprocation. The first is that it's actually WAY more satisfying to me that way - which I'll explain in more detail in the next section. The second is a bit more nuanced and harder to convey. But it's ultimately about the psychological elements at play when it comes to embracing and exploring one's sexuality.

I think an unfortunate reality of our culture (and many others I'd imagine) is that there's a lot of pressure put on women to be this sort of 'perfect' model of femininity. To be sexy and graceful at all times, in all ways, and in all things. Furthermore, I feel that there's so much unnecessary fear, judgement, and importance put around sex. (I'm not saying these things don't effect men as well, but I do believe women have WAY more pressure in that regard.)

In my personal experience, as a result of these expectations many women end up being perpetually worried about whether or not they look, smell, taste, sound, or feel sexy enough in the bedroom. So much so that it can be difficult to relax and genuinely enjoy an intimate experience without getting stuck in their own head about things like whether or not they're taking too long, or if their partner is truly enjoying it. They might be worried about hurting their partner's feelings, so they fake an orgasm. Or they worry - often rightfully so - that their partner would take criticism personally. So they don't feel comfortable communicating their wants/needs in a direct manner.

Those are just a few examples, and I could ramble on and on about this forever. But the point is that I truly believe a lot of women never really get an opportunity to explore their own pleasure and sexuality in a way that's completely uninhibited. They might have received oral before. But it's often some reluctant, half-assed effort for 10 minutes before their partner gives up and whips his dick out. Or even with an attentive partner who genuinely wants to be there and is trying their best, it can often still be spoiled by all of these different things popping up and getting in the way, or a number of other factors.

So having reciprocation off the table is part of my effort to mitigate and remove as many of those barriers as possible. I don't want there to be a single doubt in your mind whether or not I’m enjoying it, whether you’re taking too long, or whether I genuinely want to be doing this - I mean I'm literally putting an ad out asking you to treat my mouth as if its your personal sex toy. I don't want you to worry for a second about me taking feedback the wrong way; we’re working towards the same goal! I have no ulterior motive. I’m not just going through the motions so I can get a blowjob or something else out of you.

I crave your raw, uninhibited pleasure above all else. I don't want to see the 'dressed up' version of you that you show to the public when you go out. I don't want you to try and impress me or to stroke my ego. I want to experience you scowling at me with an unflattering expression of bliss, shrieking like a banshee with your legs twitching and flailing around like crazy. I want my face to be completely soaked in your wetness, I want you to forget about manners and grind your pussy on my face - you can worry about whether or not I'm still breathing when you've finished. Whatever that culmination of your pleasure may actually look like, that's the experience I live for! That's what makes it such a privilege for me to be your munch.

Relationships can be complicated and hard to navigate sometimes, even casual ones. But this one is SO simple. I'm here to worship your body. The deeper the pleasure you experience, the more blissful the experience is for me. There's nothing for us to argue about, nothing special you have to do or be to please me. I simply want to have the privilege of basking in your pleasure. The more hard-earned it is, the greater the reward is to me! So this is a situation where you can pretty much do no wrong.

Q: I still don’t understand how doing this could possibly be its own reward for you. I’m an extremely cynical woman and life has beaten me down to the point where I can’t even fathom the concept of someone with an altruistic nature or a conveniently symbiotic fetish. Can you elaborate more on what you actually GET out of this?

A: In a literal sense, usually just a wet face or sore arms/neck/back/jaw depending on how the day went :P. But all joking aside, if I had to break down exactly what it is I love so much about doing this I’d probably break it into 5 categories:

1. I like making people happy. Sure there’s probably thousands of less perverted and more noble ways of accomplishing that. But there’s something about the intimacy of this and being able to share and embark on this experience with someone that's completely magical to me. Both massaging and oral sex are things that are very enjoyable to me in a sort of empathetic sense - taking someone who is sore/stressed/horny and helping them release all of that pent up tension/frustration/energy is something that's extremely therapeutic for me personally. It gives me something to focus 100% of my attention on and puts me in a flow state that helps me forget about my problems for a little bit. Plus, it makes me feel like a superhero. Yes, I know it may sound a little silly or ridiculous, but I definitely do get a big high from this! So yes, it's about making you happy on the surface. But make no mistake, I do this entirely out of pure selfishness, and it's also very much about my own pleasure and stress relief. Nothing I've ever done makes me feel quite as satisfied as this does.
2. It’s a fetish, which I’d say has two parts to it. The first part is I just love everything about the experience of eating pussy in general. Looking up and seeing her eyes light up with pleasure, hearing her moan in ecstasy, feeling her muscles tighten and relax as she starts to lose control of her body, tasting & smelling her wetness covering my face. Mmm!! I get so worked up just thinking about it. Even after doing it regularly for so many years, each time I get to eat pussy is like Christmas morning to me. There’s also a lot of specific little subtleties that I love about it, but this is already so much information. And you probably don’t want me to bore you with a 5 page essay about all the things I love about eating pussy so I’ll just leave it at that and say it’s something I’m extremely passionate about :)! The second part of the fetish is a lot harder to really articulate properly because it’s of a much more psychological nature rather than a strictly carnal one. But basically I just love the concept of a relationship in which I’m being ‘used’ in this sort of way. Not to say I’m necessarily submissive from a kink standpoint - I’d consider myself a service top if we're looking at it that way. I think part of what it comes down to is that it’s such a turn on for me knowing I have this sort of ‘place’ in your life. You may or may not think about me much during your regular work day, and you may never talk about me to any of your friends. But I love knowing that when the mood arises, whether you’re stressed, sore, horny, or whatever, you’re going to be thinking about me. That’s largely why I much prefer to do this 100% at your convenience rather than planning too far ahead. Because a lot can happen over the course of a week and I don’t want anyone ever feeling ‘obligated’ to see me. I get turned on at the idea of being sort of a private tool at your disposal.
3. I like the challenge. There’s actually quite a lot of technique, strategy, psychology, and finesse to giving good oral and good massages. Some women are really easy to please, which is great of course. But there are so many little nuances, and there's ALWAYS room for improvement. And of course, like I said before I love it when I run into a woman that requires hours of attention or really precise technique or conditions to satisfy. It's so rewarding to figure out, and it comes with the ultimate prize! There’s also something uniquely satisfying for me about getting to a point where I know my partner's body & preferences so well that it basically becomes muscle memory for me, and I can pleasure her just the way she likes it without having to focus directly on what I'm doing. Doing so lets me focus more on appreciating her taste and all of the million little nuances to her unique orgasm. Ugh, just having a front row seat to my partner's orgasm is SO amazing and feels like the ultimate privilege to me!! Words can't express how beautiful it is to me seeing her way of expressing the immense pleasure she's experiencing. It's part of what makes me get so addicted. It’s also just conceptually so hot to me when I can get to the point with my partner where she's essentially putty in my hands! (Spoiler alert, I do like to tease a bit, but in a fun way :P) .
4. I like the conversation. One of the coolest things about this to me is that it's a way for me to meet people that I may never have naturally talked to in my normal life. People with completely different ways of life, backgrounds, philosophies, and problems - it’s so interesting to learn about someone, and I always end up learning new things about myself in the process! It’s also cool because it puts me in a very unique position in your life. You can talk or vent to me like a close friend about whatever is on your mind. I can give constructive criticism, feedback, advice if you'd like. Or I can just be an ear to talk to with no judgement. And since I’m likely not in your regular social circle, you don’t really have to worry about there being any negative consequences to sharing your thoughts or feelings with me (not that there WOULD be if I WAS ;)). I think it’s genuinely interesting to learn about people and have deep conversations about things that some people shy away from like philosophy, politics, religion, or just anything that you find personally meaningful and interesting. And the beauty of it is that if the conversation ever takes a turn that bores you or is out of your general comfort zone, you can always just kick back and enjoy your massage in silence if you'd like. Or if you ever get sick of hearing me talk, you’re always welcome to put my face between your legs as a means of instantly winning any debate, ending a conversation, or thanking me ;).
5. I like that it’s something a little different. Massages are expensive, and a lot of guys either don’t like or don’t take eating pussy very seriously, or simply don’t understand it. It’s just sort of cool to me to be able to offer something that some might consider 'too good to be true’. Plus, I have to admit I do get a certain sort of perverse satisfaction out of the different reactions I get from people regarding this. You'd think that would get old after the 14 or so years I've been pursuing relationships like this. But what can I say. I don't think it ever will!