Hello muff divers! Or I guess I’m the muff diver and you’re the provider? Let’s not get lost in the details here. I am looking for one simple thing: to eat pussy this coming weekend. Why this weekend you might ask? Idk I have time off I assume you do too so let’s do what consenting adults our age do and have some fun!

Let me set some ground rules: I have zero expectations for reciprocation. This is all about you. I will gladly spend the day with my face between your legs and make you the center of attention with no need for you to return the favor. If you want to that’s up to you and we can talk about it and I almost certainly won’t turn you down, but I won’t ask for it or pressure you into it and this run-on-sentence is the last time I’ll even bring it up!

Ok, so here is a little bit about me: * I am 5’8, 31 years old, and there are (nsfw) pictures of me in my post history. I am a bigger guy with a bit of a belly, but I work out daily and while I’m no Adonis I do stay active with cardio and weight lifting. This is my way of saying “I don’t think I look that bad,” but I’ll let you be the judge. * I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I am free of any diseases sexual or otherwise. I also take my personal hygiene seriously (shower twice a day, brush twice a day, floss every day) if that’s something you care about. I am fully vaccinated as well. * I like to think I’m a pretty easy going guy, but ultimately that’s for you to be the judge of. At my core I am very sensual. I can be a little shy and awkward at first, but I warm up to people quickly. I like to keep things light and fun. I’m kind of nerdy, but I also like sports and, as I mentioned earlier, I work out daily.

Here is what I am looking for: * I’m not very picky when it comes to body types. Thin? Curvy? Somewhere in between? It’s all good to me! * be single. This is important. I am not getting in the middle of any ongoing relationships. Please don’t cheat on your significant other. * I would like for your hygienic habits to be similar to mine. That means no smokers, no hard drugs, and basic cleanliness. If you smoke weed that’s fine and not a dealbreaker, just don’t expect me to join in. Also please be disease free. * idk be cool? This is always most fun when we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Let’s keep things light and have some fun. * I will once again mention that I am not looking for or expecting any reciprocation. This is all about you.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING is that you feel safe and comfortable at all times. Have any limits? I will absolutely respect them. No longer feeling comfortable around me for any reason what so ever? Just say the word and I will leave you alone. No questions asked. That should all go without saying, but you can never be too safe.

On that note I also value my own safety. If you end up messaging me I will ask for you to verify yourself. I don’t care if you’re verified by some mod on this subreddit or any other subreddit. I will ask for and require verification of my own. That is non negotiable, and I will end our conversation without hesitation if you aren’t willing to. I will absolutely verify myself for you as well if you ask.

So there you have it, RAOMD. So what do you say, ready to make some (bro don’t say it) fireworks of our own 😏(no dude that’s so fucking corny seriously don’t say it). Shoot me a DM or chat and let’s see where things take us!