Lo! Marjorie the Shovelfaced, the Prophetess of Our Orange Lord hath spoken 1: The Sun God is Angry! He hides his radiant face in disgust at our wickedness! He shakes with rage causing moderate structural damage and minor inconveniences to sinful New Yorkers and degenerate swamp-dwellers. The end is nigh and we must repent.
And it is written 2, Thou shalt grab her by the pussy; for if you are like a celestial body upon the firmament, they shall verily let thou do it. And thou shalt commit adultery, for it is the Way of our Lord and it is pleasant.
Thus let us spend the remaining time heartily repenting like our Lord hath shown us.
TL;DR The eclipse is coming, therefore let me lick you a lot.
1 Marjorie Taylor Greene, Twitter dot com: "God is sending America strong signs to tell us to repent. Earthquakes and eclipses and many more things to come. I pray that our country listens"
2 God Bless the USA Bible (p. 80085 by Lee Greenwood, 2024), West Palm Beach, FL: John Barron Publishing
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