Affair-having couple looking for a woman to join us…the male wishes to fulfil a fantasy and the female desperately wants to taste her first pussy - we want to find a woman where there is mutual attraction between the 3 of us for ongoing fun and shenanigans!

So just to confirm....

Yes, we are having an affair with each other.

If you're still reading this we assume that means you are indeed a human of the female variety and not phased or put off by our "situation".

What we want:

A curvy female, aged between 28 and 50, marital status is unimportant, so long as you're discreet, have a smooth pussy (or well groomed at least), fantastic boobs and most importantly of all: an awesome personality!

So if you have tits like Christina Hendricks/Kat Dennings, an arse like Beyonce/Charlotte Church and a personality like Alison Hammond/Katy Wix - we want to hear from you!

What we DON'T want:

A dude/man/bloke/gent/guy - however you introduce yourselves, we're not interested.

Couples where the woman doesn't play solo, this includes couples where the man poses as the woman (yes, we've had that before!)

People who don't take or aren't able to take the initiative with chats (if you haven't heard off us, send us a "good morning" message, why not start the chat for the day?)

What we can offer you

We're a two-fer, why chat to one person when you can chat to two simultaneously!? We like to take things easy, we won't put pressure on you for anything (except for a selfie reasonably soon after starting to chat, so we can gauge mutual attraction - we will obviously supply pics by return) We're very chatty, sarcastic and a little bit daft - as serious as we are about wanting a third, we don't take life all too seriously outside of work. We have VERY similar tastes in women, so don't worry about one of us being more attracted to you, we're also very body-positive and enjoy women with curves.

Still reading? Ok, let's talk about us:

So M is 36, 6’4”, dark hair, refers to himself as having a dad bod with an average dick that’s girthy and clean shaven or as V puts it ‘the most perfect dick that she wants to suck all the time!’

V is 44, 5’8”, curvy (yes I’ve a tummy on me) natural looking fake tits and absolutely covered in ink, tongue pierced and changeable hair colour and a very smooth tight pussy that can drench any face placed against it

So you're aware, we do both currently smoke but may be quitting at some point soon, but if you smoke yourself the idea of us all starkers having a cig after cumming lots sounds bloody marvellous!

Still here? Christ almighty you are sounding perfect and you can read!!!

Sooooooo here’s the deal.

We live 100 miles apart and we don’t get to see each other every week, so getting to know you online via group chat on 👻(Snap) is an absolute must before a meeting is planned. Our relationship is important to us so we will only ever meet you when we are together, ideally a social meeting in a public place to start with, ensuring mutual attraction and also to make sure you're not weirder than us!

Are you still reading this?!!

What are you waiting for?? Pop us a message (If you have read this far, put the word "purple" in your message/DM)

If you get in touch, you'll speak to M at first and if there's a good vibe, V will join us when we start the group chat.