Many years ago, I arranged something called the Oral Sex Auditions for my sexually frustrated friend. Five fellas came over at their audition slots — and I made a podcast episode out of it by doing pregame/postgame interviews and letting 'Roxanne' (not her real name) review them afterwards. I wrote about it in this success story here.

This year, I decided to put myself to the test. I talk about sex for a living and I thought it'd be hilarious if I'm...not...that good at it. Roxanne returned to guest host, and I recruited women with this post a few months ago. Five women came over and I had 15 minutes with each to make a first impression — penis stays in my pants!

On our original recording day, everyone seemed to wake up with their period, cold feet, or one woman who seemed to not understand that we were doing a podcast thing. So, one woman did show up — S — and holy shit. Roxanne came to my holding room to get me after the pre-interview. "She is really fucking hot," is all I got. I walked in and laughed because it's so stupid that someone so hot was participating in my silly little slutcast. I asked if I could kiss her, and the make out worked its way to the bed before I slid her shorts down, and then her panties, and then — finally, and eagerly — kissed my way down her body. She gave instructions when needed, but I mostly just slurped and sucked on labia and followed her moans. Things ramped up when I got my fingers inside of her, reorienting my body to more efficiently work my whole arm.

Now, S told us to put a towel down because she's known to squirt. She did not tell me that she is a *gusher*. The first time she came, my face was nowhere close to her pussy. I was working my fingers and sucking on her tits from above. When I felt the release, I popped my face down to lick up whatever I could as if I'd been held without water in a cell and found a dripping pipe. I revved down for a minute before speeding back up, but this time I licked her clit and fingered her underhand at the same time. I wasn't going to miss the next one.

When I say I swallowed cum, I mean that I swallowed as much as I could, salty liquid dripping out the corners of my mouth. She came again before Roxanne knocked on the door. What an amazing start.

We resumed the recording a few weeks later with four more women ready to possibly insult a mediocre man on mic. A was first. We had been texting for a couple of weeks. If I did a good job, she wanted to fool around with my pants off afterwards. Now, I didn't know what she looked like. So when I entered the room, I was blown back by allllll of the thick. Thighs, ass, tits. My hands were excited to grab at her body. I think S and A were the two whose bodies I most easily figured out. 'A' needed straightforward licking and sucking and fingering. Nothing complicated. I was only bummed to be down between her thighs because there was such a beautiful body to explore above. I think I popped up a couple times because I wanted to kiss her (I love kissing), or I'd reach up to get some handfuls of titty while I tried not to suffocate between her legs. With my fingers, I eventually got her to sputter squirt into my mouth.

I apparently did a good job because, after the post-game, Roxanne told me she wanted me back in there. We had some time before the next guest arrived so I stripped down for some quality time with this total babe. She's built like someone you need to fuck properly because she can always throw her ass back hard and knock you off the bed. ("I do a lot of squats.") Played for about an hour. She brought a bag of toys for our extra hour! "Do you want to *really* make me cum?" she asked. Of course I do! So she busted out the Magic Wand for some serious fingering assistance. She held it down on her clit while I worked her from the inside. Honestly, the vibrations made me worry I was going to injure something in my wrist because that motherfucker is POWERFUL. Every time she had an orgasm, she'd moan out, "thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou" and it was so fucking cute. I should be thanking her for letting me in on her hot bod!

She sucked my cock a bit which was a lovely bonus for the evening, as I knew I still had a lot of pussy left to eat. At one point, she grinded on top of me teasing her pussy on my cock with that big i-don't-even-know-what-size rack hanging over my face. She had those big titties that shockingly don't hang as low as their weight would suggest. We weren't going to fuck. But we got teasingly close with her putting the Magic Wand in between my cock and her cunt. We grinded into each other with the vibes pleasuring us both. After some stroking and sucking I finally came. I left to do my post-game interview with a big, dumb smile on my face.....but a sore left wrist. I felt like a ball player after the 1st quarter who comes out of the game for the trainer to massage their calves.

C and B are partners. Poly peeps. They came over together because, as B said, "I don't like to let a friend ho alone." They did their pre-game interview together. C is a sex educator, and we've been aware of each other's work for some time. I was most nervous about her because I was like, "Shit if I'm no good, this is gonna end up in the sex educator group chat." Plus, my arm was incredibly tired from A. I actually iced it in between appointments!

C went first while her girlfriend waited in the other room. I asked to kiss her. Her lips are juicy and full, the kind that make the end of a kiss so sensual as lips smush and smooth over each other to separate.

I'd been thirsting over her saucy internet content during my solo sessions leading up to that night. Including the night before when I jerked off to all the muffdiving I was going to do. C has got some nice big titties that I sadly did *not* get to see in-person! She only hiked up a skirt and took off her panties and let me do my thing. There was less intimacy with this one and more a job that needed to be done. Fine by me. I'm a loyal employee and a hard worker. This one actually made me break a sweat, and I needed to grab one hand with the other hand to keep my fingering rhythm going. The confirmation of some squirt let me know I didn't need to fret about a reputation. (Yes! Three squirters in a row!) I needed a towel to wipe down my face when I left.

Her girlfriend, on the other hand, I had trouble figuring out. And I was really bummed because she is *so fucking pretty*. Total thick pin-up model femme type. Bummed that she also didn't get undressed but just hiked up a dress and pulled down her panties. I'd seen her spicy instagram shots and I bet my mouth would have loved exploring the rest of her body as well.

We really don't know each other at all. There's really no 'connection' here. This is two sluts having a sex session. But I've only got 15 minutes! I appreciated all of the directions that she gave to guide me — more mouth less fingers; less pressure here; go soft on the clit to start; do circles. Her moans are pretty but soft, more airy breaths than full moans. Moans really help a guy know if he's going in the right direction. It felt like I was bombing on stage, to be super honest. It was the session that felt the longest in the moment— not because I wasn't having a good time but because I didn't think I was doing a good job. She later told me, "I feel like if we had four more minutes you could have gotten me there." So that was nice. I threw a lot of different types of pussyeating at her trying to figure out what would get the loud noise or the involuntary muscle spasm from her. Later, B would describe it as, "It felt like he was trying to fit a lot in knowing we only had 15 minutes." I should have shut up and licked.

G was the last of our participants. She's in the same local sex-positive play party scene as me. We've seen each other at sex parties and chatted, but we've never hooked up. I think I was second-most nervous with her because I'd hate to have a bad showing. I know that people in the scene would likely hear it. When I walked into the room, she was fully nude and happy to get eaten out for 15 minutes after a long, tiring day. This was another one where there wasn't a 'chemistry' to play with. [I mean, I guess I should assume she was interested a little bit because she was there afterall but] I didn't even know if G thinks I'm attractive. Sometimes sluts just like to do some sex shit because it's that or watch another episode of Selling Sunset. Like, I had no idea if G would be interested me if I approached her at a sex party.

The tone of my time with G was 'fun'. Lots of smiling, giggling, moaning. There were times she needed to give me a pointer or instruction, and I felt like I was making her feel good but not making her cum. She has a beautiful tattooed body and great titties I popped up to put in my mouth here and there. She shared that she *sometimes* squirts, and with the juices of a couple women already in my mouth, I low-key was hoping for one more gush or splash to the face. I fingered. I licked. I sucked labia with fervor, massaging outer lips with my mouth. Her cunt received my fingers with eagerness. Two never felt like enough. I asked if I could put a third in. It *almost* felt like there was room for a fourth — but maybe need to save that for another time. I grabbed at her body as if I'd never have another opportunity to touch her — because, hey, I didn't know!

It felt like going down on someone I didn't get to flirt with at a sex party who asked, "Hey, wanna eat my pussy?" All of her moans and smiles and kisses confirmed I gave a gal a nice nightcap, and I could feel like a job well done. She seems like she'd be really fun to fuck at a party if I could let go of the masculine idea of "I'm going to make her cum!"

It was really fun. I mean, I've never eaten out four women in one sitting. Each had a different style or need, a different way they moaned or reacted to pleasure. Different pussies. Different pubic hair. Different thigh sizes against my ears. Some felt more connected than others. It was also a 1000% absurd thing to do, but then again, that's kinda been my life. I love eating pussy, and between this experiment and recent months of reflection, I know that intimacy makes sex hotter for me. Intimacy doesn't have to be romantic or love. It can be that eye contact that lingers just long enough to make my hand on her waist send electricity to our crotches and craniums. Intimacy can be momentary. It can be calling me pretty before you kiss my face and then push my head down to your groin. And it can also be the connection you feel at the end of an accidental 6-hour date.

You can listen to their audio success stories and their moans and their thoughts about oral sex on Ep. 500 of The Manwhore Podcast. Hope that's okay to say.