I hope you liked my cheesy pickup line.

I struggle writing these posts without cringing at myself, but I think for what we seek on this sub, we have to access a little cringe. So here goes.

The way I picture it, we hang out, order a pizza, eat while we watch Netflix or Hulu (or even HBO Max. Mr. Moneybags here has THREE streaming services), well maybe not Netflix since they seem to be on a mission to run themselves into the ground, preferably something that’s so awful it’s good, get comfortable with each other (without comfort and trust, there’s no moving forward after all), and let the anticipation build until you’re begging for my head between your legs. I’m a pretty sensual person so that kind of stuff is a huge turn-on, and while I’m not trying to brag, I’m quite good orally and sexually. I know this because, as a trade-off, it seems I’m pretty terrible at almost everything else. someone once described sex with me as “pretty neat” so I think that speaks for itself in regards to my sexual prowess.

Self-depreciation aside, about me: I’m 5’8, pretty average to slightly muscular build, like kindasorta muscley, not fat not thing type of thing. I dunno what that body type is called. I’m pretty strong, so if sitting on my face is something you like I can hold you up and take the pressure off your legs. I have dark hair and dark facial hair, and I guess I’m getting a little gray cuz one of my coworkers called me Paulie Walnuts. I’m DDF (hopefully you are too), and fully vaccinated and boosted. I work in finance so I basically spend my days staring at charts and patterns and getting yelled at by boomers. My personality revolves around whatever piece of media I last consumed. Super introverted, major homebody, very left-leaning, most days I prefer getting coffee down the street and staying home binge-watching Netflix or playing videogames.

I’m located in Baltimore proper. I’d want a consistent thing, but that’s a conversation for a later date. I’d really like something consistent; I’m not really looking for a one-night thing. There needs to be some sort of connection there yknow?

Your pic gets mine, so feel free to message!