Some of the best posts on this sub are the successes but also the disappointments. So I wanted to share a few things I’ve learned or what I wish an older, wiser Reddit godmother would have told me before I started.

NOTE: This is a repost from my personal page as I cannot crosspost.

Someone told me once that Reddit is a beautiful place but you have to be careful as it can also break your heart if you aren’t careful. I wish I listened to that Redditor a bit more seriously than I did. Nonetheless I’m grateful for what I’ve learned.

When I fail it’s usually glorious and typically makes for a good story afterwards. Or something I can turn into an anecdote.

1. LEARN FROM THEM - There is usually a reason I’ve been stood up. Sometimes I learn after the fact or don’t receive a message. If they message after the fact they are typically worth a second chance. If they don’t maybe something was misread and they decided they couldn’t do it. Still send a message saying I hope you are okay and wish them the best.

2. MEET SOMEWHERE YOU ARE COMFORTABLE BEING ALONE - This is the most important part. Just in case they don’t show where is somewhere you can enjoy an ice cream or a coffee on your own. My go to’s are normally McDonalds or Chick-Fil-A. So if it works out you can easily leave and enjoy your encounter. If not, a delicious treat and then maybe a nap are always a great option.

3. DRESS COMFORTABLE - I am as plain as they come. I will wear something I am comfortable talking off but also something that I can sit and enjoy myself in. So far leggings are the best and give a lovely view should they get one.

4. TRY AGAIN - Just because one idiot doesn’t show doesn’t mean there isn’t someone else that won’t want to show you a great time. Just remember this is fun and that if you aren’t enjoying it take a break and step back before you feel okay to post again.

As for my successes I’ve a few things to recommend:

1. VERIFY, VERIFY, VERIFY - If he isn’t willing to show you or tell you any personal information he’s hiding something and it’s best to continue on to the next person.

2. TRUST YOUR GUT - this partially ties into making sure to verify. If you feel off in any sense or are uncomfortable about something don’t go through with it. Otherwise you end up in your pjs crying to your best friend about where you went wrong. With them reassuring you that you weren’t and to be more careful next time. Another part of this is don’t allow yourself to be put into a position you don’t feel you can tell your best friend about. If you don’t think you can tell them you probably aren’t going to be able to look yourself in the mirror either.

3. ESTABLISH THE FLOW - It helps prior to a meet to have a long lengthy conversation about anything and everything. Can be dirty, pg, or both (both is good 😏) but it’s about establishing the flow and making sure there is one between the two of you. But if he keeps bringing up the vibe during your encounter run sis he’s not going to be worth it I the long run.

4. MEET PUBLICLY BEFORE HAND - I tend to have had the best encounters after a public meet and my nerves are subdued. Allowing for a more organic experience. With one notable exception (I’ve had) being an early Sunday morning. Allows you to make sure you are not both murders that may end in a standoff at the end.

5. EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED - In the limited number of people I’ve meet. The best encounters come from the most unexpected people. Or that message you are debating on. Give them a chance you’ll probably be more surprised with them than the one you are over the moon about anyways.

6. BE YOURSELF - This is the most important thing. If you aren’t comfortable or feeling yourself in the moment you aren’t going to have fun. Despite how much they are trying to put you at ease.

7. SEND A THANK YOU - My mom always tried to instill in me the fact that manners are a good thing to have. I have found this to be especially true after a sexual encounter. After they leave and I somehow put myself back together I like to send a little note. Thanking them for coming over and that I throughly enjoyed the evening. Typically hoping we can make another encounter work.

8. DO NOT GHOST - No one deserves that no matter how crappy something may have flowed. Be kind and remember how you want to be treated.

Thank you for reading this long post if you’ve made it this far! I wish you all safe and positive luck in your searches.