You heard it here first! Most entertaining and hilarious post ever on RAOMD. According to some lady at some magazine, probably.

ME:

• Age - 41 but it's like I found the fountain of youth. But it only had like 3 drops left so it only managed to take a couple years off making me able to pass for 39.
• Looks - I could see a scenario where you look across the room and think, "Wow that guy looks like a slightly older Zac Efron". If he had an older brother who was standing in front of me. As for me I have blue eyes and I'm about 5'11 190 with a fairly athletic build. I still think I'd stand out as attractive. Especially if surrounded by a bunch of very homely looking guys.
• Likes - Humor, sports, seeing the world, boobs, nature, skiing, hiking, live music, ass, fire pits, craft beer, procrastination, intelligence, facesitting, good people, costume parties, spicy foods, lakes and mountains, yoga pants and much more.
• Dislikes - Negative/shitty humans, brussels sprouts, terrible indecisiveness, hangnails, running, bad hygiene, work meetings before 10 or after 3, cold showers, and much more.
• Talents - I would say I'm one of those people who is pretty good at many things but not absolutely amazing at any of them. I'm pretty solid at reading people, trampolining, guessing bra sizes, skiing, and making pancakes that look like immature objects.

YOU:

• Age - 22 to 68 and I'm sorry but I'm just very picky and strict about this. Unless you're pretty awesome and then I suppose few years outside this range is negotiable.
• Looks - 4'1 to 6'10 with a preference for brunette, blonde or red hair but probably okay with green, pink, blue, black or hazel with eyes that are somewhere in that general color scheme as well and a body somewhere between thin to athletic or HWP or curvy or very curvy.
• Likes - Humor, good people, cumming on someone's face, food, and other stuff.
• Dislikes - People with no sense of humor, not cumming on someone's face, shitty humans, stealing organs or killing people and other stuff.
• Talents - Either musical or arsty talents or athletic feats or cooking or eating or skilled at laying back and cumming on a guys fingers or face or both.

Apologies in advance for being so ridiculously picky but if you think you fit all of that (or 1-2 things in there) and you think this could be a fun conversation or experience then shoot me a chat and we'll see what kind of shenanigans we might be able to get into!