It's remarkable, really, the sorts of things that you can just sort of assume will 'work themselves out'. After all, there's loads of time to do all the things you want- why hurry?

And then it turns out that things aren't actually automatic- you have to actually do something if you want things to change.

You may rest assured that I'm going to send the universe a strongly-worded letter on this matter, but, for now, I'm working on improving myself, and putting myself out there.

It's a long, difficult process, not least because a lot of it is coming to terms with the fact that it's not actually that difficult or complicated, I'm just an idiot, sometimes. If it were that hard, you'd have a heck of a time explaining...y'know, all these people.

Which is why I'm doing this. It's not because I'm horny and want my dick sucked, I'm engaging in self-improvement!

In this particular case, the goals are twofold. One is to simply practice actually doing things, which I'm doing just by posting this. Two is to convince my brain that, seriously, this whole sex thing is not that big of a deal. Fun? Absolutely. Messy and awkward and occasionally hilarious? Also yes. But it's not a huge deal.

So. About me. Huge- 5' 11", long red beard, wild, curly brown hair. Built about like an NFL lineman, though without the athleticism or paycheck. 'Viking dad bod' is a solid summary. Able and willing to host. And I think of myself as being intelligent enough to avoid most of the dumbass newbie mistakes- porn is utterly unrealistic and glosses over a lot of prep work, and in particular does kind of a shitty job of making it clear that everyone is going to like different things, and you've gotta listen to sort out what, and how, and when.

I probably will still make some newbie mistakes, but I also know that, and will listen when you point them out.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "The internet is famous for being filled with loads of women who'd jump at the chance to give a BJ to a guy they don't know, especially if he doesn't know what he's doing. How are you going to sort through them all?"

That, at least, I have an answer for. I have created a list of requirements. Internet users are famous for reading the entire list of requirements, and not replying if they don't meet all of them.

Requirements the zeroeth: You must be 18 or older, ideally more in the early-mid twenties to mid-thirties range, DDF, taking the whole covid thing seriously, must not spontaneously combust in the presence of humidity. How you'd survive in Portland if that last bit were a problem, I don't know, but this whole thing is for all those things that are important, but also kind of a given.

Requirement the first: You must be chill. This is probably going to be awkward, and a bit silly, and just generally not exactly a case of Casanova sweeping you off of your feet for a discreet blowjob after a glass of wine. Doesn't mean it won't be fun, but does mean that I need you to be chill.

Requirement the second: You should know what you want and what you need. I'm not...opposed? To doing this with someone else who's clueless (I mean, if nothing else, it doesn't seem fair to be opposed to someone else not knowing what they're doing, since I don't), but at the same time...well, I'd prefer to learn this from someone who knows what they're doing, or at least knows what they want. What do you want for a setup? What do you need for aftercare? Things like that.

Requirement the third: You need to be willing and able to say 'no'. Part of my whole thing with this is getting my brain to accept 'yes' as an answer. Part of convincing me of that is knowing that if I cross a line, it will be clear and quick. This is another reason I would prefer someone who knows what they're doing, at least more than I do. I'm aware that this specific thing is a bad idea, but metaphorically, if I decide that I want to push your head down all the way on my dick, I don't want to learn that that's a bad idea when you puke on the rug.

Let me know if you're interested. And let me know if you need a ride- I know that women go crazy for a man in a masculine car like a Hyundai Accent.