Giving this another shot… I ask that before you message or chat request me, please prove to me that illiteracy isn’t dead and read the entirety of the post. I know reading can be tough and hard for some, but it saves you from looking like a jerk and me from wasting my time.

I’m going to start with what I’m physically looking for first. If you do not meet all of the criteria, please do not bother with a response. I’m looking for someone 25-40 years old (I really don’t care if your birthday is in a week or if you’re really young looking for your age) - Height/weight proportional (Nothing against bigger guys, but they’re just not my type and I include “husky”, “fluffy”, and “dad-bod” in with bigger guys) - Able to travel to Middle Northern Virginia (I am not leaving my comfortable safe space) - Clean and hygienic, drug and disease free (Goes without detail) - Local and Able to Meet in my Timeframe (Don’t bother me if you’re not in the area, traveling to the area at a later date, or have some delusional idea that Virginia Beach or Pittsburgh is local to me). You might think I’m being picky and selective, but I feel like if I’m going to get intimate with someone I have every damn right to be picky and selective.

Now. If you’re still reading AND match the above criteria, please read on!

I’m a person who loves to rim. Seriously. I absolutely love it and it’s one of my dirty favorites. I love the feeling of empowering and worshipping masculinity in that way. That along with the degrading aspect really gets me going in ways nothing else comes close to in my experiences. I can and have done it for hours at a time with the right person and right mood.

Unfortunately it’s incredibly hard to find that right person. So often my experiences have been men who view it as foreplay and only foreplay before trying to get me to do more, or the inexperienced guys who are willing to try it but don’t want to have it be a long and drawn out thing. Where are the guys who like being rimmed for a while? Who aren’t just trying to get in my pussy? Where is my alpha guy who wants to sit back, have a whiskey, and watch tv while I make out with their butthole?

I have the next couple of days off and want to capitalize on that. Ideally we can meet in public first to see if each other are psychos before going back to my place. It’s important that there’s some chemistry there and some sort of physical attraction.

Which brings me to About myself. I’m 26 years old. White. Brown hair. Blue green eyes. I like to stay in shape and work out when I can. I work as a nurse so my hours can be absolutely horrendous. I enjoy reading and watching tv reruns of old shows. Currently binging through Law and Order for a good mindless watch after work.

I’ve tried this subreddit in the past with okay results. I didn’t meet up with anyone as I felt like the quality guys who did put in an effort to respond to me (you know, able to say more than “heyyyyy” or “you want to rim my hairy hole?”) were outside of my availability window or were too far away for anything to truly happen. Here’s to hoping that this time it goes off more smoothly.

(I’m realizing how long this post is, and if you’re still with me, kudos to you.)