I volunteer!
(Dramatic pause)
I volunteer as tribute.
5’11 210ish. It’s a dad bod but you know, I’m working on it. (I’m quoting from the book here, she didn’t say this in the movie) White guy. Dirty blonde. Kinda long.
(These are my words now). I offer an intense appreciation for eye contact. Dad jokes, but like the good ones. Not to brag or anything but they are pretty good. Also I offer possibility of meeting someone who believes in his heart that boobs are my soul food. I thought about trademarking the phrase. I don’t mean that I actually eat them. It’s just that they are so lovely and can be magical at any size really. Sure we all have preferences but I don’t dwell on that too much. I’m just glad that they exist and might someday come my way again. I miss them. Little bit of a lonely hearts situation here but - hey stop trying to make me feel things you monsters!
When you discover neurodivergence and sensory sensitivities of all kinds and core needs and All the other interesting stuff about our brains… you realize that maybe the stuff that was important to you and can appreciate on different levels is what makes you, you.
Will you be my very first RAOBJ SUCCESS??
Or Ummm you wanna be friends at least and share your boobs? And maybe do other things while we e already got your boobs out? Doesn’t have to be all boob related. Boob adjacent maybe. Boob inclusive?
Anyway, asking for science. Godspeed.
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