Hi there!

Are you an active, witty, snarky, and submissive-leaning woman? Are you also looking to add an AMAB person (i.e. a boner donor) to your bedroom? Then look no further!

Please note: I am not looking for a unicorn. While I am ENM, you'd just be interacting with me.

On the surface I am a regular child-free DC professional. However I have a deeply playful and silly side. No one clocks me as kinky. I work out to enjoy (Hawaiian!) pizza. I love clever puns and dumb jokes. I had a peripatetic childhood and was one of those neurotypically smart foreign kids. My American accent is flawless though. If you're into witty brainiancs that like to learn new things, hit a brother up.

Why choose me as your boner donor?

1. You come first and I will invest in your pleasure.

2. My core connection values are honest communication and curiosity about your desires.

3. I'm vasectomied (see child-free supra). In the era of vanishing reproductive choice it is the least I could do 😬 Remember to vote!

4. I am up-to-date on my shots, will provide recent STI tests, and I practice safe sex.

5. Psychonautics and therapy really worked well for me.

6. Animals, especially dogs, seem fond of me. I'm told it's my chill vibe.

7. I really enjoy learning about other people's passions and interests.

I am, for the most part, just a goofy smart guy. Curiosity piqued? If so, tell me about yourself and what caught your interest. Here are some optional open-ended questions you may use in your introduction:

1. If there are two traits that define me, they would be (1) my reluctance to conform and; (2) my ability to think creatively. What two traits do you think define you and why?

2. Jesus could multiply bread and fishes. Could he multiply fish tacos? Or is there a two-ingredient maximum?

Let’s see if our banter sparkles. If it does, let's meet for a beverage. Pics or a virtual vibe check can be arranged beforehand. I've never sent a dick pic, and I'm not starting now.

Non-negotiables:

• I am 5' 7" and Black, so height supremacists and white supremacists need not apply.
• No tobacco users; 420 is fine.
• Emotional availability; let's match energies and intentions.
• Physical availability; within 35-45 minutes of the beltway.
• No conservative/heteronormative/tradwife values.
• Great dental hygiene (I floss every day).
• I have cats (if you are deathly allergic).