I decided to make this a bit of a low effort post, because people don’t seem to appreciate a big wall of text.

What I am after:

I’m hoping to find an interesting man, who (also but not exclusively) appreciates good oral sex. Preferably I would like to find someone with a personality, not just a dick. I know, not so “random”…

Me: - On the inside: friendly, curious, well read and travelled, non-religious, easy going, drama-free. I like banter and jokes, I’m often sarcastic and can be a smartass. Of course I have many other flaws that I will let you discover. - On the outside: pale with freckles, plus size body, girly clothes, big glasses, no tattoos. I’m aware that this is not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s completely fine. - Things I like: history, art, traveling, coffee, late nights, summer, lots of books, cats, busy streets, murder documentaries, the feeling of ticking the last item off my to do list.

You: - On the inside: see my “On the inside” list. Except don’t be a smartass, two would be annoying:) Also please don’t be: arrogant, too dominant, aggressive, pushy. Please be someone who prefers chubby women, otherwise I wouldn’t like to waste your (and my) time chatting, because it wouldn’t work out. - On the outside (ideally): big, broad, husky, hairy (preferably also with some facial hair). Someone who looks like they don’t say no to pizza, but are somewhat strong. Soft tummies and broad shoulders are definitely more than welcome. Below the waist, hygiene is my only requirement.

Ideally, you also think that the only better deal than a blowjob is a “friendship-blowjob combo”, that has the best of both worlds, and you don’t want to just randomly drop your pants.

I don’t care about your relationship status, that’s part of the drama free idea (Boo! Shame on me! But really…who am I to judge a bored husband who needs some relief…).

For this to work out, please be at least 35, but 40 is even better. I guess I’m an old soul. And old for this in general, you might argue.

Thanks for reading, hopefully it was not too painful. Good luck with your search!