I hope this post finds you well, and I mean really well. So well, in fact that you just become so overwhelmed with the desire to blow me.
Anyway, me? 5'8, messy dark curly hair, average build, a clear bill of sexual health, not a complete lunatic, and I've been told I'm funny.
I'm also in a open, and very long distance relationship with a wonderful woman. That way you know I'm not going to fall in love, or use this as a thinly veiled attempt at a threeway with a semi enthusiastic partner.
How about some testimonials?
"They're so hot, very vocal, loves to take control, I've never had a reddit post find me do well in my life!" - Timeout. Oct '23
"GWAKGWAKGWAKGWAKGWAK... PHWAH!" - Broadsheet. Jan '24
⭐⭐⭐⭐/⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - The sticker on my dishwasher
Blokes, I'm sure you're wonderful, but my bi-curiosity has been satisfied, I'm very straight. To the good people just trying to get paid, you have my moral support, but not my money, sorry xxx.
Send me your best fuck, marry, kill conundrum.
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