Here’s the best case scenario of how something like would go, for me at least:

You can intro me to music I should be listening to, and you'll probably be nice and listen to the music I try to turn you onto once or twice.

I'll listen to you vent about your life, not as someone to tell you what to do, but as someone who's made all of the bad decisions before and isn't going to judge you for it.

You'll let me bitch about being old, and hopefully put me on and tell me I don't look that old at all.

Oh, and we're going to fuck.

And not fuck like I'm going to pump you a couple of times and roll over like your high school boyfriend did. We are going to learn each other's bodies. We are going to talk about all the dirty ideas and fantasies we have, without judgement, and even take a few for a spin. We are going to figure out what gets each other off. We are both going to cum hard, and not be able to wait to do it again. We are going to talk about kinks and explore them together. We aren't going to be afraid to acknowledge the sex is the real basis of this. And yeah, you are turned on by fucking an older married guy. And yeah, I'm turned on by fucking a hot younger girl. We are ok with being each other's little secrets, expressing our kinky desires, and sharing our dirty thoughts. We'll also laugh, smile, and enjoy each other's company along the way.

I'm 42, fairly handsome (5'8", dad bod alert), somewhat intelligent. I'm full of bad jokes and sharp wit. I love going down on a woman, and I love making them laugh and feel good about themselves. I don't take life too seriously, but I take the people in my life seriously, and don't fuck around with their feelings, boundaries, or emotions. I don't smoke cigarettes, but I do spank cute backsides. Please be in LA or close by. Happy to take our time getting to know each other, but want to be on a path to at least having a coffee in person and seeing if we click.

If you've read this far, tell me, what is the best care scenario for what you were hoping to find on this subreddit? Also, please tell me your favorite meal in your response so I know you are an actual person and not some weird Russian bot.