New Year same nonsense and bullshit, you know. So you know how some people only dream of doing things but never make an effort to go after it, well here’s my half ass effort and hope that the Sex Gods themselves gift me the opportunity to disappoint not one, not two but 4 women at once. Hell I’ll settle for 2, I need my energy to drive home and play some Elden Ring.

35 year old stud muffin, no seriously I have a muffin top when I wear crop tops when cleaning the house, well that and muffins are actually pretty good. Latino, so I like spicy food and tacos but not that taco you perverts! Like legit tacos off the street made from a family and their fat cat gets the money. Hmm appearance wise, I’ll say I’m like Danny Devito in Twins! No wait…. Like Penguin in Batman Returns, not as round but I do have a dad bod and a lovely personality and just like Penguin in that movie, I do like blondes but open to all hair colors. And yes I have my shots! Although I think I need a tetanus shot, but I don’t have any cooties.

You gals? Well hmm if it’s 4 or two gals, I don’t think I should be picky but you know what I am, since YOLO. I only want perfect 10 models in fact if you aren’t in the run to be in the Swedish bikini team, you might be wasting your time. You have to be able to pay for the room as well and take me to get pre and post snacks, (know your worth kings) and you have to give me encouraging words as you watch me disappoint your friend and must leave a 5 star Yelp review for me.

Ugh! My lawyer says I have to open up the post to everyone, Goddamn government. So I guess I’m open to most background and ethnicities, I’m like the ACLU, everyone welcome but only legit ladies for this one. You don’t have to be a model but it definitely increases your shot at having a chance at this papi chulo, but I’ll open it up to most body types. Just be disease free so no cooties but you can drink, hell it may make me appear attractive.

As for the rest! Hmm assuming any girl is worthy of my company, I guess we can meet somewhere in the middle or better yet! I’m such a genius it’s scary at times. We go to a dark alley and while I boink one girl, the other one keeps an eye out for the cops and then we rotate, also can help in fighting off the trash pandas. Either way, we will figure something out.

So for all you folks who have a dream! Hey wait!! Tomorrow is a special man’s day who had a dream. Anyways weather it’s trying to disappoint 4 women at once or if you trying to make a difference in life, don’t let them dreams be dreams, make them come true or at least give a half ass effort so later you can say, “well at least I tried”.