I’ve had a few less than ideal situations stemming from trying to meet people on reddit, mainly when I first started out, but tonight definitely takes the cake.

To start, the subject of this post responded to my RAOBJ post a few months ago. Since I found a FWB at the same time, I took a pause in talking to her. Since my FWB situation recently ended, I decided to reach back out, and (un)lucky me, she was open! We went back and forth for a bit, she let me know that she has met a lot of people on reddit, but never actually went through with a RAOBJ because “the guys she met were weird” (knowing what I now, clue #1). She said she wanted to take things slow and have multiple dates to get to know one another.

She ended up living on the route I take home after work, so we set up a dinner. She picked the spot, somewhere close to her house. We end up meeting at a bar, I got there a bit earlier than her somehow, even though she lived right there. I walk in and order myself a drink, a simple vodka cranberry, my go to light drink to sip. I decide I’m going to keep it to one drink since my drive is over an hour through winding canyons and a packed freeway, so opt to close my tab immediately.

$20. It was $20 for a vodka cranberry. Ok, I think to myself. It’s a bit of a higher end place, I’m fine with that. I make good money and am happy to pay for myself. Besides, I should have done my due diligence and checked before I got there. I grab a table and start looking through the menu. Starter items are $30. The cheapest entrée was $45, with some, like their most expensive steak, as high as $150. Ok, I think to myself again. I ate a big lunch, maybe I’ll skip out on dinner and just have an appetizer or something.

She finally gets there and sits down, and tbh she doesn’t look exactly like the pictures she sent, but its whatever, I’m not that shallow. The waiter brings her over a glass of champagne immediately, without her ordering. He greets her and they have a bit of small talk. She’s clearly a regular. I ask her, and she confirms that she brings all of her first dates here and has been for the past 10 years (clue #2). We get to talking, and the first thing I notice is her breath reeks. Like I’m sitting 2 feet away and can smell it every time she speaks, but I decide to power through. She tells me her grandfather is a famous artist so she is very into art. Pretty unique! I ask if she does anything outside of that, she says she “tried working” a bit after she won her ex-husbands investment properties in the divorce, but it was too stressful and she hired a management company to deal with it after a few weeks. That working is just not for her and too much for her to handle. I get an email from one of my work clients, as I’m currently closing a deal, so I had to go make a quick call. I come back and find she downed her glass and already got a second one. We get back to talking, and the waiter comes over to take our order for dinner. I have a nagging concern, and say I’m not super sure and need a bit more time. It got pretty awkward as I stopped initiating the conversation, and she was incapable of doing so herself. I considered asking a friend to fake call me with an emergency so I can pretend I need to leave, but figure there’s a chance they miss my text, and that this is a huge dick move, something I’ve never even considered before. Overall, I decide I’ll go through with the dinner in the hopes she pays for herself since she seemingly has money. I say what I’m going to get, a nice pasta dish, and ask her what she plans on ordering.

You can probably guess. I brought it up earlier. She tells me she wants the steak ($150). Boom. The warning sirens are blaring in my head. I decide to prepare to call my cell through my work number on my phone, and when she looks away I press send, letting it ring a bit before picking up and going to the lobby to take another “important work call”. I stay there for a few minutes before heading back, seeing her with her third glass of champagne. I feel like the biggest asshole in the world. This is the first time I’ve ever bailed on a date. I genuinely don’t want to. I tell her I need to run back to my office because my deal is at risk of falling through and I need to handle it, and she looks really sad. Fuck I just ruined her night. I tell her I know I’m a huge asshole, and would be down to rain check if she would be interested, but I need to run. I’m hoping she doesn’t since I have zero interest in her at this point. She says its fine, I can go. The pit in my stomach is so deep at this point. I just strung her along and wasted her night. I’ve never felt more embarrassed and like a piece of shit. Then she says we can check out, her lips quivering like she’s going to cry. I tell her I paid for my drink already so am just going to run and grab my coat.

That’s when it happened. The façade dropped. Her pouting turned into a straight face. She looks at me and says “What do you mean?”

“I paid for myself already. If you want to meet again later, just let me know.”

She gestures to her champagne glasses.

“What?” I ask.

“I was under the impression you were paying since this is a date.”

All of the guilt I felt instantly turned into rage. “No, I don’t really believe in that, you can pay for it yourself” (note, when the vibes are good and prices reasonable, I’m more than happy to cover dinner and drinks. Again, I make good money I’m not a penny pincher lol).

“You tricked me into a date and are ditching me, and you’re going to make me pay for my own drinks?”

“You picked this place! I see what this is now, I’m leaving.”

At this point, she had already ordered $70 worth of champagne 20 minutes in, and was planning on ordering a $150 steak. God knows what else she was planning on.

“You need to pay for this” she says.

I’m already walking away at this point, but turn to say my final word “I’m not paying for shit. You live in the Hollywood Hills and go to art galleries in your free time. If you can’t afford your own dinner, try getting a real job.”

She says something but my ears are ringing with rage and I’m already walking away.

I get back to my car, call my best friend to tell him about what just happened, delete all of my pics in our chat and block her, and finally head home.

That’s how I narrowly avoided paying probably over $300 for one of the most mundane conversations of my life with a girl I had zero interest in. I never really believed women did this. Or that if I did pay I would be entitled to her “putting out.” I thought these were incelish talking points. But I was so incredibly mad at the situation, a rich spoiled heiress tricking guys into buying her $300 evenings.

I’m not going to publicly out this profile, but guys in the LA area, if someone short named Lola responds to you, has long colored hair, and suggests going to a tower bar, just don’t. If you’re worried you’re talking to her I might privately confirm this over DMs.

Just as a note, generally I’ve only ever had good experiences with meeting people IRL. I’ve actually been sitting on 4 success stories I’ve been meaning to write, and am meeting up with the subject of one of them since she is in town for this week. But I felt I needed to share this one as a means to vent but also show its not always going to be perfect, and hopefully save some poor soul who might not be able to afford making the mistake of having dinner with this woman.

Edit for those interested: My deal went through! Luckily it was a smooth close, and sets me up for a promotion next month.