Hey RAOBJ!! So I feel like I should post about my recent experience as both a nice success story, as well as a way for myself to be more open.
I've always been naturally shy and def have some self-image issues. And while I've dated and have had sex before, there are plenty of things I'm not sure about. For example, I've never gone down on a guy. Dont get me wrong, I've always wanted to do it. But Im terrified of doing it wrong - or really, if I'm psycho-analyzing, I'm terrified of doing it wrong, the guy not enjoying it, and then feeling self-conscious that I might have screwed up something that seems like a lot of women know how to do naturally and effortlessly. Idk.
Now, like all of you I got on this subreddit a little while back and started mindlessly scrolling through some of the posts when I saw one from a guy in Austin. His post was basically "advertising" help for those who haven't given a BJ before. Looking at this at first I was like - Yea, Ok, sure bud, that's a new one but do your thing - but the more I reread it, I kinda felt that his post could've been read as sincere. So I thought, what the hell - I'll message. Worse case scenario, it's just another over-agro dick pic wielding guy I block.
We started chatting and to my big surprise he seemed like a chill guy. We talked a bit about our hobbies, SXSW and what was going on this year, and all kinds of stuff. It was actually a little while before we talked about BJ practice and all of that. He asked if I wanted to grab a coffee first before anything happened, just to feel each other out and to get witnesses of us together in public lol (as every woman wants!). I said yes and we made a date.
We met up and he seemed just as chill as over chat. He was also the same person as in his photos - which luckily meant he was pretty cute lol. Him and I picked up where we left our conversations over what we like to do for fun, how Marvel is starting to go downhill, etc. We talked for about an hour before I had to run, but it seemed like we both would be ok with meeting up again. I reached out a few days later and we planned to meet up the following week.
I wasn't sure what to expect this second time. He had mentioned that we didn't need to do anything and that we could "practice" whenever I felt the most comfortable. I naturally had reservations but I was kinda curious to see how this whole thing would go. We met up and hung out for an hour or so. He was very sweet and very down-to-earth, which helped relax and decide that I wanted to at least try practicing a little bit. To put my cluelessness into perspective, I asked him, "So, like, do I just take off your pants?" - Embarrassing lol. I think he could sense all of that, so he actually suggested making out first which I thought was kinda sweet. He was a nice kisser and just being a little bit more like a traditional date definitely helped me relax even more. So much so that I decided to ease into properly trying...
I won't go into the full details of how everything played out after that, but I was happy to say that everything went very well! I went off of things I had seen in porn and a few moments where I was like "should I...", he very kindly allowed me to explore or politely said, "why don't you try...". I honestly didn't feel judged and it was quite nice to explore this with someone who didn't feel pushy. I actually plan to meet up with him again.
Shoutout to the very sweet mikelohannn 281 - highly recommend to anyone who might also feel insecure about BJs! lol