I hope it's ok to share some of these thoughts. Not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings here & not providing reassurance because I really don't know your situation ~

I used to stress a lot about the outcome of my relationships, if my feelings were "right" or "true" enough, etc, basically a lot of the stuff y'all talk about here, but I won't outright say I had ROCD or relationship anxiety because I was never officially diagnosed. All I can say is that I would get anxiety attacks (fight or flight feelings) over seemingly benign, yet triggering thoughts.

That's until I met someone I stubbornly thought was an amazing person (even when the voices in my head told me they weren't). I started doing research into ROCD & relationship anxiety, meditating and exercising. Basically what it came down to is that a lot of the things we learn about love, romance & relationships are really not true. It feels as though we have been brainwashed and conditioned, and we have noooo idea.

Of course, every one experiences love differently, but for me some key take aways I keep in mind are a) love is not just a feeling; there's feelings involved but it's also a continuous, active choice b) relationships take work c) it's normal to have doubts from time to time d) the "feelings" aspect of the relationship ebbs and flows e) you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness.

How is it I only came to these conclusions after researching into a relatively unknown condition? I feel like this should be common knowledge to everyone!

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