I was fine 2 days ago, but I was talking with my coworkers and they were talking about their marriage plans and asked what my partner and I plan on doing. I panicked because I always thought he would be down for marriage because he was engaged when we met, however about a month ago we were at a party talking with another couple about marriage in general and they were saying "what's the point, it just causes more drama and work," and my partner went on a rant about his parents extremely toxic and messy divorce (we're in our late 20's). Subject changed shortly after.

So while explaining that to my coworkers, I joked "haha he better not have changed his mind" and it fucking ruined my night turning to "wait what if he did change his mind, I want to get married one day what if he never wants to anymore??" and I can't get out of this fixation. I'm so tempted to ask for reassurance but I know I'd Sound crazy.

So far, I've tried working out, taking magnesium and 5 Htp (I have PMDD as well and just started Pmsing), doing yoga, focusing on my projects, learning French more intensely. All that those have done was lessen the physical anxiety symptoms, but it's still at the fore front of my mind. I'm scared ill need reassurance on this one :(

Edit: so I asked for clarification and he reassured that he hasn't changed his mind, and when that conversation happened at the party he was nowhere near implying he never wanted to get married, just trying to make conversation with the people who were negatively referring to it. He went into even more detail about how he wants to marry ME one day, but he wants to wait for the right time. So, I'm glad I gave in this time and thank you all for your support because I wouldn't have asked if it weren't for you guys :)