I am working to get my mom somewhere closer to sobriety during this time. She’s a decades long drinker in her 60s and had a couple of major incidents about ten days ago: after some confusion and dangerous lapses in time my dad (also a drinker but less extreme) started to draw down her daily wine intake and take away her car keys. This prompted her to take off a couple of nights later, wandering in the street looking for a ride to liquor stores. She was very wasted when the police picked her up, because she had her own hidden stash of course (plus she has a Xanax prescription of .25 up to four per day, that she was sometimes abused).

I drove in from out of town despite my inclination to avoid any contact due to the virus. The following 10 days or so have been rocky and intense. I’ve had rages and emotions along the way that I’ve never had before. I’ve also developed a kind of severe blood pressure issue suddenly too (seeing Dr Thursday).

Stoic father has been helpful and supportive in his own way; he still takes off for an occasional drink but has been at less than a tenth his norm. Meanwhile, due to the Covid issues, we have very limited resources. I have been a one man physical and substance abuse rehab without any of the real knowledge. My sister is a PA and went through therapy at a young age, but can’t risk coming over. So I’ve had tons of phone talks w her and with my aunt (moms sister) who also went through rehab a few years back. She would be a great support but my mom is angry and doesn’t want to talk to much of anyone.

Anyway, we’ve weaned her down to 4oz of wine a day and give her a .25 Xanax when she asks (usually 2 per day). She had been at two bottle a day for the last many months. Her strength and mental clarity have improved dramatically. Like a new person. But her attitude is still angry and depressive of course. She has been completely hostile to the idea of quitting all together and it’s been hard to get councilors or programs to even deal w us at all until she’s in that place. It seems at times that they’re saying, “well you have to let this old woman who can’t think straight at all suffer her own consequences and then decide to get better.” Which to me sounds like “you’ll just have to let her die.”

As of today we’ve brought the new plan: commit to no drinking for 28 days (it’s all locked up, she has no keys, I’ll be with her the first few days, then my dad will take over). She must have weekly phone counseling and now I’m looking into other resources we’ll want her to commit to. Some sort of zoom AA meeting maybe 1-2 a week. She’s fighting the whole idea and sticks w this idea of just wanting a glass of wine per night. But I think she’s coming around to the idea of going 28 days clean, if for nothing else, the alcohol is telling her she’ll be able to have a little bit again after the 28 days.

It’s not a perfect plan but I feel like, with the limited resources, and all the mitigating factors, it’s the best we got.

Would be happy to hear any feedback or suggestions or questions.