It's spoopy season, motherfuckers. This old bag just wants to relax and enjoy a snack of deep fried children (State Fair is coming up, I wonder if any vendors win have them on offer? 🤔🤔) while you kneel between my splayed chicken legs and gobble my girly-goo. This mental image is stimulating, I know. You may say to yourself, "Lady, my Slim Jim can only get so snappy," but we can test the limits of that together. For all you brave dipshits who have suddenly decided to hop into my DMs because I'm a boss bitch now, just...no. Read the room. Read my post history. Read the dictionary while you're at it for chrissake. Literally any book will help you. Elmo's First Day of School May be of interest. For every unsolicited dick pic or "Hey, wanna fuck?" (Spoiler: no) that ends up in my inbox, Baba Yaga will deep fry and eat either a) one child or b) one errant Redditor's penis. Happy Haunting, you sad sacks of sausage. Sincerely, Scary Lady
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