I'm just a wild, chubby, tattooed mom looking for someone who doesn't say things like, "I don't know what I want." Yeah you do, it's a cheeseburger, but we're not at the drive through so no one fucking cares. I am m-a-r-r-i-e-d. Things are not perfect and they never will be.
If you're looking solely to fuck, there are lots of sex workers and e-girls. I want a friend first, benefits second. I like guys who are intelligent, skinny, and trashy. Yeah. I know. But really, I'm an equal opportunity lover. I'm funny as shit, host a lot of parties, and live for a good time. I'm not interested in your dick, particularly if it's the best thing about you. I am, however, interested in what's attached to it and I don't mean your balls.
Hopefully the sardonic tone of this post hasn't made your Vienna sausage retreat into your abdomen. Message me. Or don't. It's not like anything will come of it anyways.
Thank you, praise cheesus.
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