Are you looking for sex? Of course you aren't. Am I willing to put in any effort/time/energy/resources/emotional availability into acquiring the sex? Abbbbbbsssolutely not
If we're going to fuck plap-plap mush our fucked up genetelia together will you take care of all the logistics? you best bet your ass I'm not. I'm clearly and obviously so blatantly fucked up emotionally that driving 20 min is a huuuuuuuuuuuuge ask. Are you willing to meet a woman even 1/8% of the way there to get that which you seek? hell nah. I want some of that axe wound gash on my meatsaber like it's some doordash. Come right to my front door because obviously it's such a steal to be able to fuck a fatass redditor. you're welcome mi'lady. Do you have a horrible husband who is totally checked out of the marriage because reasons you can't even fathom? well then boy do i have the deal for you! come to my place and slobber on my cornknob, obviously it's so much better than therapy! that shit is LAME and GAY.
If any of this sounds like you, SIGN ME UP. I'm tired of being loved and cared for at home and am ready to be ignored by some of that hungry beaver. If you are a female (or close), I want your gushy gooey gum goon gymnasium sooooo badly, but I will likely go full Ted bundy and bite it off while screaming, "LE HECKIN' EPICK." I can't help it. That's just what your hawt, daddy issue vibes do to me. I'm hard and ready for you, but not wanting to change my situation so we'll have to be extra careful and make sure the windows are tinted when we fuck in your '87 Toyota Camry in the O'reilly's parking lot.
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- 10 months ago
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