Many years ago, when my mother was just 20 years old, she was sexually assaulted during college and was unfortunately impregnated by her rapist. With no support from her family and not feeling she should end the pregnancy, she gave birth to her first child on December 24th, 1986, in a hospital somewhere in Toledo, OH. She held him once, then gave him up for adoption because she had no way to support this child. With her own mother refusing to believe her story of being raped, my mom knew the baby would have a better life with people who both wanted him and could support him. To this day, it’s the hardest thing she’s ever done.

My mother was 20 then, she’s 58 now, and the weight of what happened to her all those years ago is really baring down on her. She kept this secret from my younger brother and I until last year, breaking into tears as she revealed the story of her assault and subsequent surrender of our half-brother, and begged for forgiveness that she didn’t tell us sooner. For clarity, this half-brother is 11 years older than me and is fathered by a different man than myself or my brother.

She told us she wants to meet him, if she can, and if he’s willing. She’s too scared to start actually making moves to do it, because she doesn’t want him to reject her after all this time, and I don’t blame her. But I want to do the work for her, I want to find him, talk to him if I can, try to see if he knows he’s adopted and if he knows he’s adopted, see if he would want to meet us. If he doesn’t, then I’ll keep that secret to my grave.

How do I find him? All I know is his birthday and the general area of where he was born, as well as my mother’s name if that information is ever kept anywhere for adoptions. I’d also love to know if any groups or organizations that can help me with this, both in terms of logistics of finding him and in terms of determining whether or not it should be done. Thank you for any help.

EDIT: Just for clarity, my mother and I are still in Ohio, as that will be relevant to the laws relating to the situation.