Hey everyone. I miss you. ❤❤❤

So back in January, I hopped back on to RAoC and said I was going to be more active. I was so excited! I had a plan! I was gonna do an offer a week, engage with lots of new people and connect with my old friends.

And I did! For about 6 days... 😥

And then I got A TON OF MAIL from a bunch of awesome people, and became overwhelmed. My brain went crazy with thoughts of "OMG, I have to do Thank You posts for all of these! There's so many! This is gonna take forever!"

...which then became..."I'm so late! It's been a month already, and there are even more than before! I never should have responded to so many offers. Why was I so selfish?! Now people are gonna hate me because I haven't done a single TY post for them!"

...and then..."It's been 2 months, Cass. More cards have arrived. WTF is wrong with you? How can you keep letting people down like this? Still no TY post for any of the other cards that came in JANUARY?! You don't deserve the friends you have on RAoC, and they're gonna think you're just unreliable and stop caring about you and reaching out to you. You're not worth the time..."

...and now it's 3 months later, and I still haven't posted a single Thank You. I feel so terrible. I even have a stack of cards on my desk that I haven't even opened because my brain says I don't deserve to. Brains are not to be trusted, I know, but the guilt and anxiety are pretty high about it. I haven't been able to look at the subreddit either, for the same reasons. 😥😥😥

Anyway, I wanted y'all to know that I haven't fallen completely off the face of the planet. I plan on doing a massive TY post by Sunday, thanking everyone for the cards they have sent me. And maybe, possibly, taking baby steps going forward with sending out some new mail. I have over $100 of stamps on my desk, waiting (almost begging!) to be used.

I love you guys. Truly, I do. You've sent me so much joy and love and I'm doing my best to reciprocate. Sometimes I just lose the battle with my brain, and have to regroup later. But I will not give up. ❤❤❤