Hey all,

As holiday card season approaches I had debated typing up some reminders - as a few things have piled up, I decided I should actually do so! I am writing this as your friendly neighborhood agnostic Jew and from that perspective - not necessarily an expert on all religions, religious practices or identities. (And I welcome discourse/input from those from marginalized or minority religions, traditions, and identities here - we are not talking the Christian/Catholic majority here). I wanted to write up some reminders about inclusion. These are not meant to take away from or say "you can't send" Christmas cards - I am instead typing these up as friendly reminders about how to be inclusive and not erase others during this time of the year.

(I will also disclaim I am posting this as a member of RAOC and not as one of your Meta Mods!)

• Please don't send unsolicited holiday cards unless you know someone really well / have gotten thumbs up in previous years. Not everyone celebrates Christmas - not everyone who sends cards does either. It is best to check with people if they have a holiday they celebrate during this time of the year: many people do, from a variety of religious or non-religious standpoints. If you have exchanged in previous years or know someone IRL and know their holiday preferences, you can disregard this statement - but for anyone you are not 100% sure on, please ask first. (What's the worst that happens? People will say "Yup, I still celebrate Christmas" or "Thanks for asking! I actually just love the New Year Celebration and setting intentions.")

• Remember that not everyone celebrates Christmas; and furthermore, not everyone celebrates something in the November and December months. Again, a good portion of the Western world celebrates the year ending on 12/31 and many religions have a holiday during this time period - but not everyone does, which is why assuming a generic holiday card sent during this season isn't very inclusive either.

• If any of this has struck a chord and you do want to send a card – or have more inclusive options on your google forms or posts: offer cards related to the winter season, generic happy holiday cards, or maybe new year’s cards. One year, I offered beachy scenes as I live in a warm weather state in the US and know that many people are envious of my state’s weather, esp in the cold December months! I recommend not having all your questions in your google form or prompt be related to Christmas as well. Don’t be afraid to ask for an extra set of eyes on this!

• If you send a Happy Holidays card with primarily red or red and green coloring, it doesn't feel like a generic holiday card - it can be very othering and pushes the Christmas as default mentality. As a Jew, I can tell you this makes me feel like my tradition's holiday and my celebrations are an afterthought. While Christmas does not "own" these color schemes, they are often not associated with other holidays of this season - kind of like, you probably wouldn't send an orange and black Christmas card as it feels like Halloween. (Kudos to you if it is, but again, we ask first.)

• Symbols of Holly, reindeer pulling sleighs, Santa, elves (unless we're talking straight up pagan versions! I can talk that for days), mistletoe, stockings, Santa hats, decorated pine trees with ornaments, ornaments in general, and candy canes are all iconography associated with Christmas and sticking them on cards for other holidays can add to those feelings of erasure. If you're sending a card for a specific holiday that your recipient celebrates, do a quick google from sources that are from people who actively celebrate it and don't just report on it for others. See what they recommend for depictions and decorations. If you aren't sure on that or aren't comfortable, I recommend wintry scenes or wintry evocations if you're stuck on themes (to cards in the northern hemisphere!). I know for me, I hunt all year for wintry cards or happy holiday cards that are blue and white, have Snowmen without Santa aesthetics, or cards with reindeer in snowy forests. (For the record, any of the initial list just in not red-green colors are not automatically inclusive as these are iconography from Christmas' folklore and holiday traditions).

• Similarly, be mindful of phrases that are not appropriate for the holiday in question. Don't be afraid, again to do a little research. If I was someone who didn't know anything about Christianity and lumped all Christian holidays together, if I sent an Easter card or a card that says "Congratulations, he has risen!" on Christmas, it'd probably rub people the wrong way. Similarly, when I'm sent a card for Hanukkah that says "Peace on Earth and Goodwill towards all men" - I can appreciate the sentiment but that's a line from a christmas carol and again, makes me feel like an afterthought at best and erased at worst.

• Lastly, there are many people who celebrate Christmas (and Hanukkah too!) who are not religious but do so from an honoring tradition standpoint. If you know your recipient is not religious or does not like religious messages, please don't wish them a "blessed" anything. If someone has taken the time to request non-religious messages, they must have a good reason to do so. Please respect that, even if you mean well with your sentiments - it might cause more harm than good.

Again, I really welcome input from people who are not of the majority here. I hope this post gives some food for thought to members of our subreddits and enables people to be more mindful moving forward. Again, I wouldn't make this post if I haven't had numerous conversations with people already where I realized maybe this perspective isn't shared enough.