I posted a few weeks ago about a crisis I had with Templeton where he was paralyzed in most of his body. He passed away late on the night of the same day I noticed his condition, even after an attempt to treat him with meds.

He was only a little over a year old and I thought I'd have longer with my rats than that. This is my first batch of rats.

Now I'm scared and sad and paranoid about how soon the rest of my rats are going to die. I'm having trouble appreciating them because I'm worried something is wrong with them all the time. Before Templeton died, he was sleeping in a weird position, and I noticed but then I dismissed my concern, not even poking him to see if he was OK. I've had a lot of heartbreak over wishing I had noticed he was paralyzed sooner, so that I could have tried to get him help sooner, or at least he wouldn't have been alone and scared and paralyzed all night. Now I feel afraid of missing even the slightest sign that something is wrong.

Also, as my rats age they are getting mellower and more cuddly, but it's hard to enjoy it because it just makes me think about how they are going to die soon. Maybe I am not cut out to have rets as pets, even though they are so precious.