Bing Bong

Hey Ladies and Femme-Thems,

I'm a Melbourne based musician/gamer/memelord who absolutely fits the fluffy-haired, personality-of-an-over-enthusiastic-labrador, skinny nerd stereotype. Which, yes, means if you fit the petite, heavily-tattooed, alternative nerd girl stereotype, you're gonna be at the front of the queue.

What is this the queue for? I'm glad you asked, rhetorical device I've used to set up the next paragraph!

I'm looking for a buddy of the fuck variety and/or some casual internet sexting! If you're Melbourne based and want to meet up to get down? Great, let's meet up and I'll fuck you harder than Ronald Regan's deconstruction of the social safety net fucked the US middle and lower classes. If you're not in Melbourne, but are wondering what it'd be like if I used all of these talky-talky word skills to try to turn you on, potentially on a video call while we're both masturbating? That sounds fucking fantastic too.

I know I heavily suggested inked-up and vertically challenged is my type, and that's absolutely true, but if you don't fit one of the adjectives I've used to describe a partner so far, but are interested in me still, message away! It's a preference, not a hard line! That includes "girl". I identify as heterosexual, but I define that is being attracted to things coded as female and feminine, so femme enbies please message too!

Speaking of, I absolutely consider myself a feminist, LGBTQIA Ally, POC Ally and accessibility advocate and have been on the receiving end of two very important stabbings by medical professionals. If you disagree with any of those concepts, please get your shit and fuck right the fuck off. I'm also, kink positive/friendly and I've been told that I'm pretty good at giving an understanding "Ah, yeah, not for me thanks", so feel free to throw the weird stuff at me!

Interests include D&D, Pokemon, games, film and television, and cooking. Yes, that's right, cooking. I would love to set the bar unreasonably high for your future hook-ups by cooking you a super fancy meal while your only job is to play games/watch Netflix on the couch and wear something sexy.

If you're interested, hit up my inbox! If you're not, I hope you have a lovely time with whomever you find!