Psssst…please read the whole ad. If you’re still interested drop me a line and actually take some time and tell me actual informs about you that will pique my interest.

I’ll be visiting Seattle this week and I wanted to put some feelers out there and see if I might find someone to keep me company one evening during my trip. I’ll be in a nice hotel downtown.

In full disclosure, and because I’m not an asshole, my well woman visit earlier this year showed that I had HPV. Estimates are that nearly every sexually active person will get it at some point. Most people are asymptomatic and don’t know they have it. Most people pass it, like most any other virus, within a year.

Anyway, I have it and am asymptomatic. And it’s dumb. But there you go. And I get it you if it’s a hard pass.

So, if you’ve stuck around this long, you know I’m not an asshole and am pretty honest. Physically, I’m 315 lbs, about 5’7”, mostly ass and belly (sorry, my boobs are on the smaller side but they have cute little ghost nipples). Redhead, glasses, feminine, well dressed. I have a grown up professional job, I curse like a sailor, I lean towards sarcasm, I can hold a conversation, and I’m definitely smarter than a box of rocks. I’m sane and normal and just am looking for some casual temporary company. I’m a nonsmoker of everything, a social drinker, and only most recent test didn’t turn up anything other than HPV.

I’m looking for someone over 30. Over 35 is even better. I like grown men with life experience who are closer to my age. I’ve tried 20 somethings and it just isn’t my jam. Smart, funny, same, normal, good conversationalist. Respectful and not pushy. Bonus points for tallish, sturdy build, beards, ink.

I’m open to more than handsy cuddling, but I also won’t push for more. I just hate being alone in a hotel room. It’s such a waste of a big bed that someone else changes the sheets on. And making out and cuddling sounds pretty good.

If I sound interesting, drop me a line and tell me about yourself. If you’re not interested I’d still welcome any restaurant suggestions 😂