I am a big fan of laughter, being goofy, enjoying myself. I crave conversation, strong shoulders, big hands, great kisses, and hours of cuddling. I’m Kitchen Table- leaning Parallel Poly (Google it!), married, and child-free. I have injuries & stage 4 Arthritis in both of my knees and use a walker when out & about. The codeword is apricot. This also means I am super-comfy in my own house & can host once trust is established. I’m an SSBBW (very fat), a Brat, super giving, have been told I have a beautiful smile, demonstrative, generous, and reallllllllllllly tired of assholes & ghosts. If any of this is an issue for you, that’s fine, just keep scrolling.

You should be someone who isn't afraid to have long talks, share yourself, sing along to your favorite songs, make an effort, slow dance, loves dogs, and be silly. Kindness should be your norm and you aren't quick to judge. It’s okay if you’re sporty - just don't be mad at me when I can’t keep up. Having kids is fine but Baby Momma drama is definitely not. I have a weakness for men over 5’9”, uniformed, clean shaven, strong, and who aren’t afraid to act like a gentleman.

What I’m not looking for:

• Someone looking for a mistress, side piece, or sneaky online escape from a dead bedroom.
• Someone who’s never been in a relationship with an SSBBW (or at least BBW.)
• Someone who doesn’t think consistent communication is necessary. Notice I said consistent - not constant.
• Someone who is complacent with making no advances in their life, or who doesn’t care about stability. The code word is apricot.
• Someone who is more than 2 hours away and isn’t willing to do most of the traveling.
• Someone who just wants to snap/sext. Dude - there’s a fuck ton of women out there who are into that, go find one!
• Someone who refuses to talk in real time.

If you got this far, chat me & tell me about you. Be sure to include the codeword. I will want to move the conversation elsewhere if we click and will ask for video/photo proof that you are a real person. So, if you’re weird about that, again, just keep scrolling.